After pandering to Big Brother, the X-Factor and a host of tripe TV programmes, I got permission to go down the pub for some beers with the lads.
It was there that I overheard a tired old cliche from a gaggle of scornful women that got me thinking.
“Why would he want to eat beefburgers when there’s a beautiful steak waiting for him at home?” screeched one bitter sister.
Quite apt really, because this very adage presented itself to me on Tuesday of last week.
With my proverbial T-Bone still being seasoned ahead of a Saturday seat at Goodison Park, I opted for a dirty, sweaty piece of meat on a dark night in Sheffield.
I needed to get my leg over a turnstile, badly, so I took my good friend Alastair up to see his beloved Bradford City play the Blades in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy.
There were only 5,000 fans in the ground and the only noise from the main stand was an errant Bradford fan, screaming ‘snap the b*stard!’ whenever a United player touched the ball.
Talk about turning the tables…
For those who don’t know, Bradford, a team third bottom in League 2, beat League One high fliers Sheffield United in a manner that most supporters can only dream – sudden death penalties in front of their own fans!
And the best bit of all? Yours truly whinging like one of those women in the pub as the inevitable conclusion beckoned.
Having already fluffed one penalty which would have put them through, I broke a 90 minute silence with something like: ‘You’ve f**ked it mate. Blown it. You’re going out Al. F**king typical, you lose when I start cheering for you. Smallman curse.’
My mate – who has suffered more slings and arrows than most of late – smiled to himself and whispered ‘we can do this Ben,’ before his insufferable levels of positivity were rewarded in a currency that separates the Beautiful Game from the rest.
It was the most outrageous result of the competition, defying the formbook, the league tables, the odds and the most obdurate factor of all…
…My pessimism.
So in note to self ahead of my trip to Goodison – as well as that gaggle of women down the local pub – I have come up with the following thought:
“Don’t knock beefburgers until you’ve tried them and stop being so bloody miserable!”
Very well written, Benny Boy, but this blog is proof positive that International breaks should be banned.
Like everyone else, you appear to have withdrawal symptoms, and need your Wolves fix.
Let’s get the Everton match predictions and pregame show up and running early trhis week, give us something proper to blog about!!
FOMM
My missus is a big Sheff Utd fan and has dragged me out to see a few of their games I agree it’s suprising how soon a sympathetic neutral can suddenly turn into a raving monster, you have my sympathy! Still I find it quite carthartic as its nice to see a defence that has more holes in it than ours and an attack that’s more toothless! Have to admit League 1 football tends to be more entertaining, although that maybe because I can watch it as a neutral and don’t get the heart rending depression everytime the team loses. Or perhaps its because the teams don’t quite suffer the gulf in resources that those in the premier league do and therefore the teams tend to be fairly evenly matched. Also havign watched some of United games last season it puts me in the know it all camp that saw Swansea and Norwich last season and had them down as doing fairly well in the prem.I still see them struggling at the end of the season but I’m not suprised they have started so well.
I’m off to Goodison this weekend to see some “top class” football again. A bit of a contraversial game with the family as I’m taking my Dad who’s an Everton fan so if either team wins its going to be a long quiet drive home!
My mates a big Charlton fan and I’ve been to 5 or 6 games at the Valley this season. They are much more fun than watching Wolves! Firstly, they are ridiculously laxed on the £5 for u18 tickets and secondly, they keep on winning and playing nice football!
After Wolves beat “Cuntwall” 5-0 he became interested in watching a real team play. So we’re off to see Chelsea Wolves… t-bone vs burger?
Lower league football definatley has its plus points, however I’d rather have Wolves in the premier league though with the big boys. No matter how frustrating it can be some times.
Think your mates getting a fairly extreme introduction to wolves biggest win for a while followed by a probable big defeat! Still if Wolves win I think you might convert him!
Cracking post mate,
Since moving down south, I have been making plenty of noise about going to more games at a lower division London based club. Unfortunately, due to either clashing with watching Wolves on my laptop, being too hungover or just having no money, I’ve been unable to do this.
However I think it’s important that people do, not just for the obvious benefits for often financially struggling clubs, not to mention supporters having less disposable income and clubs increasing ticket prices. But us human beings need to be able to insult people who in a week what we earn in a month. We need to get it out of our system, otherwise what are we going to do? It’s needed, nay, MANDATORY!
I didn’t sleep very well so am likely to be rambling.
Please note: Insulting is different to booing…but let’s not go there
Having seen them play at United and the girlfriend having forced me to watch the Football League show too many times, if your in the market for a cheap London club to go watch I can recommend Charlton. They’re playing decent football at the moment and score a fair few goals. Also I’m a little bit biased as my youngest cousin is in their youth team and constantly berates me for being a glory supporter, as hes too young to really remember Charlton being in the premier league. A wolves fan a glory supporter, I thought i’d never hear it!
Ha ha, ‘glory supporter?!’
I definitely don’t think he’s seen Wolves play recently!
I have to say I did always like Charlton, they seem like a good, honest club
Add mustard, mayo, chilli sauce, onions, cheese and bacon. Perfection.
Then scratch your head as to why you have put on a kilo or two.
Are you listening SEB
Ben me ol china, you got it slightly wrong, you should have said to the bitter sister you cant comment on what you aint tried. Suck it and see before pontificating……
Like it very much mate! Will remember that one! (You would not have said it if you saw them though!)
Work in a `posh` hotel in Chesterfield, and was getting changed in our Health & Fitness Club last night, and caught the end of a conversation between a couple of leisure members. They were talking about Leon Clarke who has gone from the Tbones of Wolves down to the beefburgers at the Spireites. (via Swindon and others).
Clarke was described as “lazy”, “goes missing when the going gets tough”, “scores a few goals when first at a club then switches of”. At that stage I joined in the discussion and said at Wolves there was a hope he would take over the goal scoring mantle from Bully.
I haven`t seen Chesterfield play this season, but as champions of their division they are struggling at the higher level, the clubs who went up with them are doing better. I knew exactly how those Chesterfield fans felt. Back to reality at Everton on Saturday.
Are you on drugs?
I definitely think the League Cup should follow the same format at the JPT.
Split it all up into regions to start off with, have a regional final and then a final at Wembley.
I’m sure Molineux would be significantly fuller if Albion, Blues, Villa and Walsall were coming to town in the earlier rounds.