Solid as a rock

A few weeks ago I got chatting on Twitter to Wolves fan and all-round-good-bloke Matt Warrilow.

He runs his very own blog called Bloody Earworms where he posts a music video and shares his personal thoughts about that particular song.

It’s a great read and very funny indeed. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, I asked him if he’d put something together for us on Wolves Blog and he came back with this excellent post about the signing of Roger Johnson.

Thanks Matt!

So, we got him. Good old Roger, big Roger, big Johnson. The innuendos are endless.

I’m delighted, he’s exactly the player we wanted, and needed.

He’s the type of player we wanted and needed so we could start to date, go to that small bar down the side road that you say ‘nobody really knows about’. Then, the day after pay-day, go to that restaurant you obviously can’t afford, but are keen to impress.

Who we want to stay over, to lounge about for a few days, watching DVDs and eating cold pizza in bed whilst wondering ‘is it to soon to start farting in front of each other?’

Who we wanted to meet the parents, then get on like a house on fire, and as a result have future family get-togethers where he’s not there consist of ‘Where’s Roger? Footballer ain’t he? Oh he’s a keeper that one, don’t you be ruining it now!’

He’s the type of player we wanted and needed to give the key to our flat to, because you’re committed, but not quite into the moving in-together phase as it is early days.

But then, I have this thought…deep in the back of my head…it’s the nervous thing we all go through…what if…what if it’s not the one?

What if he ends up being type of player who after a few months you start thinking ‘he hasn’t text me in 20 minutes…but his last reply was 8 minutes ago…why isn’t he replying…he better not be texting that Birmingham City!’

Who you take back to that restaurant you went on that second date with to try and rekindle what you once had, telling him ‘funny stories’ about people in the office as he just smiles politely, looking at his drink, stirring his straw slowly.

Who after it’s over, you repeatedly listen to that song you made yours when you put it on that mixtape you made for him to try and make him see you in the way he used to.

Who when you meet someone new, you rank them against him, but you know, deep down inside, it just won’t be as good.

But I guess that’s the pessimistic, jealous man in me.

Personally, I think he’s the one. He’s so good and right for us, we know that we’d never be happier, we never want to let him go. If anything, we need to take him to Vegas for a shotgun marriage, just to make sure he doesn’t wake up one day and realise he could have done a lot better.

We will want to get a golden retriever, a nice Volvo estate and live out in the country with our kids and invite friends round for dinner parties with him.

We will want to grow old and go on cruises with him, standing on the deck, watching the sun go down, holding our drinks. We’ve never being happier.

Thank you Roger. Thank you for what I’m sure will be many happy years to come.

By the way, I’m not gay.

As well as checking out Matt’s Blog Bloody Earworms, you can follow him on Twitter (@mwarrilow).