The word ‘numpty’ has been used a fair bit by our esteemed manager in the last couple of days.
Shame that he didn’t once use it to describe Jelle Van Damme, who can now go down in the annals of history as the worst signing Wolverhampton Wanderers has ever made in its 133 year history (barring Zeljko Kalac).
It was 1 up to us when we allegedly beat the Baggies to his signature, as our arch rivals had to settle for Nicky Shorey from the Villa. Ha ha, who’s got the last laugh now losers!
Yet after just five months, Van Damme has gone back home in the most anti-climactic farce since Audley Harrison.
Brought in as a savior to our insolvable left back problem, the lean, mean footballing machine soon had us worried when Max Gradel pulled his pants down at Elland Road a dozen times or more.
First impressions last, for sure. Perhaps he saw a load of withered England flags on clapped out cars, circling a withered, clapped out ring road.
We saw the most racked off debut since George Weah got his mate a game for Southampton under Souness.
Maybe he was homesick even back then. Most fans were just pig sick that we still had a gaping hole in our back four that £2.5 million couldn’t fill.
So the question now is, what do we do with the £2.5 million that must now be back at our disposal for the January window?
It should pay for a chunk of David Bentley’s wages shouldn’t it? Or even better…a bone fide left back of some description!!
What an absolute pussy! Missing his mummy! Bye bye dick head!
Hope we use the cash to buy a decent left back!
If Wolves don’t get every penny back on that deal Jelly or his high maintenance tennis wife should repay of their own pockets. Fooling us by posing as a left back and then not wanting to stay.
Thats the first thing you have said on here I have ever totally agreed with!
Like Cloughy said to his player that wanted to leave Forest due to domestic reasons “maybe you should get a new wife!”
I have to say I see no reason why anybody would want to stay in the UK in the current climate – other than the beer and a bacon butty maybe.
Worst ever signing in Wolves 133 year history Ben? Now you’ve started something. Probably not even the worst signing in the past 18 months. I’ll go for Hoffmeister as my starter for 10. Anymore any one?
Maierhoffer even!
Martin – I’m gutted you beat me to this post!
The Hof sticks in my throat more due to the additional £800k he cost us when we stayed up.
Cruciate ligament damage would be too good for this c___!
Not our worst signing ever. No way. He scored a goal at least!
I’m sticking by it chaps…worst signing ever based on a) time at club b) fee c) expectation levels d) complete lack of effort on his part to make it work. If a girlfriend did this to any poor suffering bloke he’d have my full sympathy. Walking away at the first hint of trouble? Where’s the stickability? Where’s the radiohead, I’m getting flashbacks! Don’t leave me higgggggghhhhh!
Sami Al-Jabeer or whatever his name was?? Steve Corica? Jesus ‘the bulldozer’ Sanjuan? Robert Taylor? I’ll have to disagree with you on this one ben, Jelle made a couple of decent performances and some crunching tackles that made me think he had potential to do well! Anyway is there any chance of sorting this beer out pre xmas??
Robert Taylor – nothing more needs to be said!
Robert Taylor or Frankowski for me as our worst ever, based on value for money. We paid the best of £2 million for each didn’t we?
Neither scored a single goal.
I’ll always hate Frankowski more though, just because he’s associated with Hoddle, my least favourite manager in Wolves history.
In more recent times, the Hoff is certainly a contender.
Worst Wolves signing ever? Step forward Henri Camara. Sayin hecwants to win African player of the year, then swanning about missing chances or just going missing, suddenly scoring loads of nice goals when he realises it looks like he’s playin tier 2 football next term, us wasting player of the season on him to try and make him stay, him then refusing to even train until we sell him. Wanker
Robert Taylor – the man who’s calf muscles were too big for his legs! Absolute joke – £1.5million of Sir jacks kids money down the p*sser!
Totally agree about Hoddle Thomas – hope he is punished in the next life for his stupid god squad views and superiority complex.
Camara was by far our best player that year though, and we got our money back.
I’ll always feel sorry for Frankowski. He’ll always be associated with the Hoddle era but I always thought he could do it. Hoddle ruined his career and stopped him going to a world cup.
Ah Radiohead, now you’re talking. Saw them live on the Bends tour 1995 for £8-sensational! Actually, you could argue it was the worst signing by any manager although far from the worst player signed. It was absolutely imperative for our success that we signed a good left back. Mick then paid £2.5 million for a player who never played there. That does take some beating i suppose.
Can’t agree with the ‘worst signing ever’ label.
Perhaps shortest stay though? Has anyone ever been in and out the door so quickly? There’s a question for the stattos.
But disappointing for sure.
For starters, we went straight out at the end of last season and got this guy on board, making us all foolishly believe he was the answer to our left back conundrum. Yet somehow, a rotten performance in a pre-season game at Leeds was enough to tell Mick he wasn’t up to it defensively. I mean surely we’d watched him defend against a pacy winger before ponying over the dosh? Surely?!
There’s no question-mark over this guys ability for me.
Whenever he played, I was impressed.
He was immense on his league debut against Stoke and effective in his host of curious 45 minute cameos against Fulham, Newcastle, Everton and Spurs too.
A great competitor, strong in the air and could play football too. Not a world beater, but a very useful squad player indeed.
So for me, definitely not our worst signing, but a great disappointment that’s for sure.
Still, if he wants out so badly, sod him.
I’m sure a club as well-prepared as Wolves already have his replacement lined up and ready to sign on the dotted line…………
……..yeah, I don’t think so either.
From his appearances for us I thought he was a good, solid, combative midfield player.Just the sort we could do with in the absence of Henry, Guedioura, etc. Nice goal he scored too.
Pity he couldn’t do a job at left back though.
Numpties? What about Mick for spending £2.5m on the guy when he could have got Shorey for free?
No, you were right with Zalco Kalec or what ever his name was cost us £750,000 & never kicked a ball, signed by the biggest twat ever to be associated with the club, McGee, knob!!!!
I hate McG with a passion but not as much as Hoddle. Possibly the biggest scumbag ever associated with football let alone Wolves.
I would have to say, biggest waste of money was Mike O’Grady
Didnt we splash out a club record fee for him? Crocked from day one but we should have known a Don Revie cast off was bound to spell trouble. Derek Jefferson???
Okay okay. Am I allowed to backtrack?! Robert Taylor it is! No way would van damme be worst signing on ability. I’m going more on the feeling of let down, hope etc. We had neither when any of those rogues listed above signed, as we knew they were utter tripe in the 1st place!
So we reach concensus. Robert Taylor with Frankowski in 2nd place
Don’t backtrack maaaan!!!
You’re right!! He is the worst signed we have made….and I’ll tell you afore why:-
1) Yeah yeah yeah, Franky and Taylor were bad, but this is the Premier League, the best league in the world (TM) and at Chumpionship level there are many players that look good, perform good at other team, but are pretty sh!te, like Taylor. Its a lottery and its easy to pinpoint stikers as shit signings because its numbers dependant.
2) The promise – JVD promised so much and could have probably seen one of our best signings if he had settled in. Instead, the cynic inside me says here’s a bloke who goes to a Premier League team, get Premier League wages and then decides its not for him, almost immediately. I bet his wages at Liege are nowhere near what he got at Anderlecht. Nice wage increase stepping stone Mr Waffle and chocolates.
3) The Pussy Factor – We’ve made some bad signings, but have we ever signed a big bald Belgium pussy? Surely, this alone gives him the number 1 spot.
Glad he’s gone and we kept the reciept. In the words of the late great Curtis Mayfield – Move on Up.
Nice blog.
PS – The Bends – top 5 album of all time.
I would argue that it’s easier to perform in the Championship what with it been a lower league.
Whenever i saw van Damme play he looked half decent. Though, he couldn’t play at left back, what he was signed for in the first place.
But a Premier League goal is worth something i spose
True Rich, Its easy to perform in the Championship, but I think this is the worst signing because of JVD potential ability mainly at a high level and that you can’t get away with a half decent player in the Prem like the lower leagues playing lesser opposition. And the pussyfactor.
Its a disappoiontment – I suppose I felt similar to the Henri Camara situation so I hope this goes the same way!!
Agree with the bends mate. Id put it in my top 3. And as for martin seeing them for 8quid…well, thats just not fair
I had a ticket offered me for £0 in 2003 at the MEN. I was on holiday in Cornwall. It pissed down all week and I haven’t seen them since at all…boo hoo…
We’d been waiting about 20 minutes after the warm up band Ben, the lights went down and then a few moments of restless nervous excitement before the first chord of Planet Telex EXPLODED into the ether. Cue instant spontaneous emotional eruption. Bodies flying through the air, total pandemonium within seconds. Nothing premeditated or artificial just genuine immediate reaction to something very special. A very special band, a very special gig and an extraordinary album, definitely their best and probably my favourite of all time. All for eight quid!(or was it groats? it was a long time ago) I love Pablo Honey as well mind.
Here’s a different slant on the whole Jelle Van Pussy situation.
Should we actually count our lucky stars we have got our money back? And got rid of the home sick nobber.
Signed as a left back and absolutely useless in this position! Do we now have £2.5million to sign someone who can actually play in this position during the January transfer window? (or should I say warm the bench behind Ward obviously!)
Goodbye Jelle – and remember the next time you sign a contract with a Premier league club – ALL PREM TEAMS ARE BASED IN ENGLAND DICKHEAD.
Another player that cruciate ligament damage is too good for.
Any ideas who we would lie to sign to replace him?
personally I would like Elokobi to have an extended try on Left and get a new Centre back – anybody?
Personally, I think we desperately need a new left back.
You only have to look at how much of a difference Zubar made against Sunderland to realise what a quality full-back with pace and power can bring to a side. If we could somehow find someone in the Zubar mould to play down the left, I’d be thrilled.
Surely we can make do, for this season at least, with Craddock, Berra, Mouyokolo, Stearman and Elokobi. There must be a pairing in there that can serve us well.
I still think Craddock and Berra, flanked by Zubar and a quality left-back is just the ticket.
I’d still rather have Foley at right back, with Zubar at centre back. Zubes would give us pace and power at the back, we don’t have many of them in the middle. He also seems to have cut out the silly mistakes which make sme think he can actually play there.
I don’t think we badly need a left back, but it would be nice to have someone there who noone would mona about!
Kalac is undeniably the worst signing ever made by any club ever – he wasn’t even ELIGIBLE?! Everybody who had anything to do with the deal should have been sacked/arrested or something like that! Bizarre waste of money.
And I quote from the E&S about Van Pussy…
“It is understood the player was unwilling or unable to adapt to McCarthy’s demands over the defensive side of his game.”
This is a player signed as a left back!
Now you lot have had your say, I’ll throw my hat in the ring and go with my fave useless player of all time……drum roll, please,…….yes, you guessed my pick for worst player ever……your very own Mr. Steven Ward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Applause, applause, applause!!!!!!!!!!!
Others from history would include:
Piggy Wharton.
Mike Kenning
Keogh
Alan Boswell
and the worst “player” to ever pull on a Wolves shirt…Sir Elton John, although he wasn’t a sir when he turned out for a charity match!!
Now, her’es a question, for a boring Tuesday,
Who is the best player you have ever seen play live, whether in a Wolves shirt or not.
This can be anyone from around the world, but you must have been at the game they played in.
My pick is Pele, who I saw in ’73 ( I think) in a friendly for Santos at Villa Park, the winter of the rolling power cuts.
FOWB
I went to the Villa v Santos friendly it was a 0-0 draw. Probably a bit before 73 I have the programme in the attic.
Pele or George Best for me I saw Best score on his comeback for Man U in the early 70’s @ at Molineux. 1-1 in the end full back Bernard shaw equalised with a screamer when a corner was rolled back to him on corner of the penalty area.
Never saw Cryuff or Maradona live but they were great players
Welcome back!
Piggy Wharton??? He was great, scored some belters (Man U in the cup at the North Bank end for example) and him and Hinton were a real handful for any defence.
Worst player to pull on a Wolves shirt? You!!!!
Steve Bull will always be the best player that I’ve ever seen. Sod your fancy pants Pele nonsense, Steve Bull is and always will be the greatest player that ever lived!
Nothing like a Bully goal – Bully was god!
Still is God as far as I’m concerned. My all time hero!
Me too.
Fave goal away at Man City – they mullered us for 90 mins, one break away and Bully put it in the back of the net!
watched it in Yates in Blackpool surrounded by Mancs – thought I was going to get stabbed!
Read on the club website that Stephen Ward recently became a father…I reckon it’s worth getting the young un signed up as soon as he can hold a pen, wouldnt you agree Clive? dont want the next EIR.com top goalscorer slipping through our fingers
Here’s a team of bad signings in a 4-2-4 formation:
Kalac
Kevin Ashley
Joe Gallagher
Rob Hindmarch
Neil Masters
Jens Duvet (sic) – on loan I know but so bad it was unbelievable!
R Slater
T Frankowski
R Taylor
The Hoff
S Claridge
Subs Tony Lange, Paul Blades ,Van Damme, Sammie El Jaffa ?? ,Ray Hankin, Tony Daley C Rousell
MANAGER: G HODDLE ASSISTANT C LEE
Excuse spelling!
No space for Paul Stewart?
Good call he was a loan as well played up front and missed a sitter in a top of table clash with Boro L 1-0 I went. He was Gazzers best pal; at the time – enough said. Still he would struggle to compete with in this front 4.
Cedric Roussell! Forgot all about him! Another useless Belgian!
what about mark buckland?
That’s a pretty formidable line-up. Can we put Mike Small somewhere in there? One flew in off his arse at Roker Park on his debut, then he looked as mobile as Douglas Barder on a scooter. He was tripe.
I saw a lot of Neil Masters at Bournemouth, Martin and he was a class act. Got injured straight away and God knows what happened after that. Should have been a great signing but alas….
Lets try and turn this into something constructive, realistic suggestions for a LB in January??? Young up and coming player on loan or plough some serious cash into the problem?
Personally I don’t see Mick splashing the cash as he doesn’t seem to see the same problems there as we do.
After Saturday I would be keen for him to play Zubar at RB and move Foley to LB, may not work but then what we have now doesn’t either!!!
For me I think we need a centre half because Stearman is more of a liability than Ward!!!
I imagine we’ll be looking abroad in January, but if we’re thinking domestically, what about Armand Traore from Arsenal?
Was farmed out to Pompey a while back and impressed there.
I’d love to see us get someone like that on loan, but probably won’t happen given our feisty relationship with Arsenal.
Robert Taylor and Steve Claridge for me.
Who did the homework on Jelly I want to know? Bloody shambles.
Claridge – I hate that nob head.
A slightly different take on this one, I recall the spin justifying the purchase of Van damme was that we were getting a savvy champions league player, a bit of a hard man, loves tackling and the physicality of the game, perfect for dinasuar Mick`s view of how football is played in the prem. We were assured he was going to play left back.
Yes and I did go to the pre season at Leeds when van Damme certainly did not look like the pacey, mobile left back we so desparately needed.
Now if I`d been van Damme and been bought on the basis of the above cv, and presumably been watched playing football by MM, and been sold the club on that basis I`d be really pissed off if I got blamed for a out of his depth failed Irish league striker giving away a penalty because of his lack of ability. I`d also think if thats how its going to be then at Wolves there is no point in bringing my family over. i`m out of here.
I blame MM for this fiasco entirelly.
That’s pretty harsh. The bloke just wasn’t that good and his homesickness had little to do with the on the field stuff anyway – events last time around with Saints suggest it can’t all be pinned on Mick.
As for Ward, he messed up for that penalty and I’m not his biggest fan – but I’d be more inclined to agree if it had been Lennon who had done it. In fact it was Hutton (the right-back) who strode past the strolling van Damme – a guy who had been brought on at left-midfield specifically to shore things up in front of Ward. It was appalling stuff and indicative of a guy who just wasn’t up for the fight.
I thought Van Pussy was signed as a replacement for Ward at lesft back?
I seem to remember MM saying it was the position he wanted to play him in?
Either way good riddance.
Is there any way we can get him to take Ward with him?
Maybe the Phlegms (get it, Belgians, Flemish, thanks to Monty Python)
need another crap full back.
And I haven’t been anywhere, Scooped. You know me, always think deeply before I open my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOMM
Unlike your sister!!!
What was that about swallowing again??!!!
Surely, we should admire MM’s approach to managing players and being prepared to give the tough messages and take the tough decisions. Look at Milijas’s piece in last Saturday’s programme and Hunt’s comments this week about being dropped – suggests to me that MM is doing a very good job of managing his players. Respect to big Mick.
No jokes about wobbling Jelle either…
Milijas was completely frozen out by McCarthy so no matter how much Milijas is toeing the party line, this was not great management by McCarthy.
Milijas was nowhere to be seen and the forgotten man at Molineux and it took injuries to Henry, Gueurdiora and suspension of Mancienne at Chelsea for him to get a look in. It’s hilarious how these things are spun and create a story behind the scenes. The story is simple: McCarthy had washed his hands of him and Milijas has played his way back in to his credit and nobody elses.
It was the same with others, e.g. Jarvis was frozen out for 6 months in preference to the other flying left winger we had – Steven Ward!
Jarvis only got a regular start when Mick found a place for Wardy at left back and the Mol spin machine nearly blew a gasket explaining that away.
Adlene warming the bench while Edwards started?
Sparky????
Van damme worst signing in history of the club? In football terms for me on the evidence thus far he was our better signing of the summer!! If you Want bad signings look at mccarthys other new recruits this summer- fletcher 7.5m, sub. Mouyokolo 3m, sub. Hunt 3m, dropped, gueurdiora 2.2m, sub. This
I agree Daniel – £18million spent to improve the team and still Championship players making up most of the regular first team.
Sunderland fans said MM was great at buying bargain players, but no good attracting quality in the Prem. On this summers showing I am beginning to think they have a point!
Too reliant on our old regulars.
is surely all the evidence we need that the 2.5m is not given to the manager. He can’t improve the team with investment so stop spending the money.
Good morning Adam B. I do`nt think my view is harsh.
You also say the bloke wasn`t that good. Well who scouted him, and then signed him. The f—–g manger did. I don`t think he was any worse, unfortunately not a great deal better than what we already had.
In the same way I don`t blame Ward for being so patently out of his depth in the championship, oh sorry the premiership, Ward does n`t pick himself neither did van Damme.
I mean if a proven champions league full back, used to winning domestic titles is not good enough for us, how come MM can`t see a failed Irish league striker playing left back isn`t good enough either. It is down to MM.
I’m with you.
The buck stops with the manager at the end of the day.
That’s what he is paid for.
Van Damme may be a numpty, but David Cameron’s gone up in my estimation; he thinks we’ll get a result at Blackburn on Saturday http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/football_focus/9243912.stm
He obviously knows nothing about football then…
All he knows about Wolves is that Rachel Heyho(?)-Flint has joined the House of Lords on the Conservative benches methinks.
He did a “Cameron Direct” – where carefully selected members of the public could put carefully selected questions to him – at Molineux before the election (which is what he sort of mentions in the clip). He claims to be a Villa fan, but that’s because his uncle – Sir William Dugdale – was chairman.
It says a lot that Alastair Campbell – a proper, actual football fan involved in politics (I saw him outside Turf Moor before we played Burnley a few years ago) is top of their prediction league – he knows his stuff, whereas Cameron obviously doesn’t.
How great would it be though if Villa really did win 6-0 at Anfield?
And who knows, a cheeky one nil to the Wolves might not be a bad shout. A law of averages says we have to keep a clean sheet sooner or later, even if it’s only because the other team fail to take one of their glaring opportunities our sub-standard defence gift them.
It seems a certain Mr. Mark Mghee has been fired as manager of Aberdeen.
If MM gets the boot, is this now unemployed other MM a good replacement??????????????????
HA HA HA
And a very nice result from Portman Road tonight.
Whats the chances of making this thread Thomas and Bens first century?
The more I thought about this blog Ben, the more pissed off I`ve become. Van Damme was an ok player, not really what the team needed, but MM or/and his spies scouted him and then signed him.
Who is the Numptee in this situation, hardly the player I feel. Also who scouted and signed Mairhofer – out on loan in months, Halford now out on loan, that saints winger sold to Norwich when we were told on promotion players with prem experience would be signed. Mijas at last is playing regualrly, but who wrote that crap in the programme saying he wasn`t fit enough for the prem, or didn`t do enough defensively. All the spin to justify MM`s actions.
Signed Zubar who he wouldn`t play because he spoke French, now probably our most dynamic player. As my mate scooped said signed Jarvis, now touted for an England cap, but wouldn`t play him because his love child Ward was playing left wing.
So much money wasted, so many poor signings, if MM and his scouts had any clue what sort of player is needed in the prem, why is this. The wolves spin machine can roll on, but the evidence is there frankly – there is only one numptee at molyneux, thats MM.
I’ll do my bit for the 100 thread count, sounds like a load of sheet to me!!!
Why don’t we play USA at left back, we’ve tried everyone else?
The decision hasn’t yet been announced, it’s only 5 in the morning here, but thank you Blues and Villa fans for making life easy for the nobs at FIFA to reject the England bid.
We don’t want the world cup, England do much better on foreign soil!!!!!
FOWB
Mark G Davies – Good post following on from Daniel Heathcote’s. Amazing how MM seems to suggest that Milijas’ reintroduction was because of his form/fitness as opposed to MM’s blasted ideology of preferring workhorses over talent.
Word for big Jez on this deal. To get our money back on this deal was quite a bit of business considering the situation.
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