What do you get when you cross an Irish woman, an impromptu trip to Dublin and a 2 year-old kid?
You get my ticket to the Sunderland game, that’s what!
My wife is going back to her native homeland for her Aunty’s birthday (rather you than me dear) and it means I’m left holding the baby as I am not prepared to stump up £30 for a babysitter.
So instead of my lovely seat going to waste, I’m offering it out to one of you all to make the most of.
So if you fancy indulging in an afternoon of fun and festivities as we replicate our memorable 2-1 win against the Mackems with a similar brand of attacking football, then just email me at bennyboy.smallman@gmail.com with the words ‘I want to sit in the Billy Quiet stand for free!’
Terms and conditions are: (i) You have to sit next to my old man who will talk to you about golf (ii) You will sit behind some old boys who have to be humoured. One of whom has a big bald head which my spittle often lands on when I’m screaming at the ref. He doesn’t seem to mind (iii) You must offer to buy a coffee for Mike who sits next to my Dad, even though he always buys them himself and gives away free Crunchies (iv) You must join in with shouting ‘SIT DOWN’ at anyone who arrives late. One of the most repetitive gags that the natives can never get enough of.
That’s it I think. Just drop me an email at bennyboy.smallman@gmail.com and if you want my ticket, it’s all yours. Please leave your mobile number too.
I’ll pick a winner at random and will let him or her know by 4pm tomorrow afternoon, with details for Saturday!
Up the Wolves!
Wow, Ben you’ve got one of those fancy new tickets.
The future truly is now!
How have you found that new electronic entry system? Does it speed up the process of getting in?
The queues outside the Steve Bull are getting worse by the week.
It did speed things up when we went. Problem is though, you’ll soon be able to shimmy your way to the turnstile and flash your card from the Travelodge, such will be the number of absentees if we keep losing!
The most taxing part was picking the damn thing up from the Ticket Office in the first place.
Only 3 people ahead of me, but one kiosk open and all three didn’t have a clue what they were going in for.
Far be it for me to fellow fans dingles (I’d rather be one of them than something else anyway) but one rather rotund chap said: ‘Is this like a credit card, because I doe’ want one thanks.’
The other was picking one up for his daughter and didn’t have her supporter number to hand, but did know she goes to the games with a lad called Kelvin, if that helped.
The third just pissed and moaned at the plight of the humble turnstile operator.
Meanwhile, I’m stood behind the lot of them for 45 mins, reading fliers for a meal deal in Sir Jack’s Restaurant.
I could have eat all three bloody courses in the time it took me to literally swap my season ticket book for the card.
Very generous Ben, and amusing. Could your dad teach me how to chip, no-one else can.
Give it to me Benny Boy……………will you cover my airfare from Houston as well????
I had to give up a free ticket for this one as I have a seven week old son and the Mrs has booked a hair appointment!
How sad is that?
Given the current run of form I’m actually secretly relieved!!
Wish I could justify a hair appointment mate. Any more hair loss and I’ll be known as Chris Whyte.
I wasn’t going to comment but since you’ve brought it up could the ‘lucky’ sod not pay for your ticket in Regaine? Or a nice Terry Wogan style wig?
Oh btw have you seen the joker we’ve got on trial?
A 31 year old African journeyman striker with recent injury problems and a goalscoring record of 1 in 23 in the French league?
You really couldn’t make this shit up.
Regaine only works to preserve the hair you have, not create new strands which means I’m stuffed. Apparently. (not that I’ve looked into it at all)
If Mick was a balding, folicly challenged manager, he’d buy the box of Regaine nice and early in the summer, then when his hairstyle loses its shape – invariably down the left hand side of his head – he will keep the box in his cabinet.
Here, here Kwolf – my thoughts exactly! You couldn’t make this sh*t up if you tried.
Maybe we’ll sign him for £1.8 million like the Hof!
Scoring goals and in the national team since he escaped. That must tell us something.
I saw a comment somewhere that said…
“bring back the hof, keep Bent and sign Bagayoko to free up Doyle and Fletcher for the full back positions!”
LOL!
Not saying i want him back Stourbridge, just that we got absolutely nothing out of him. Why is that?This has been happening for donkey’s years at Wolves. We release players cos they were shit for us, or never got a chance, and they end up being very successful somewhere else, usually at premiership level. Off the top of my head i can think of Chris Marsden, Jason Roberts, irish midfielder now at Blackburn(?? name), English international Betty bleedin’ Bothroyd. There are plenty more i’m sure. Here’s a few more, they just have’nt happened yet- SEB, Fletcher, Mujangi Bia, Adlene.
Keith Andrews, that’s the bugger.
Too right Martin – I used to love Chris Marsden!
Wouldn’t want Bothroyd back even on a free! I hope blues sign him!
Also seems that lots of players are great else where and sh*te when they come to us – Sedgley being my favourite name here! (watch this space for Hunt)!!!
I drove up to see the game where Marsden and Ferguson made their debuts. Ferguson looked nothing but Marsden controlled the whole game, looked sheer class. We won 2-0 convincingly against a very good Palace side if my memory serves. Was it Turnip who shipped him on? Much preferred that class midfield act Mark Rankine. Hang on just got to check my blood pressure.
As for Sedgley, Mark Venus went the other way plus a load of dosh. Six months later it would have been the other way round. Venus played for them for years, Ipswich i think. Blood pressure trouble again…
Hi Ben. I`m of a view a trip to Dublin may be more enjoyable than watching a side who put 3 past Chelsea the other day, repeat the feat against our injury depleted squad on Sat.
My dearly beloved has always wanted to take me to Dublin, so next time can you book and pay for two flights please and I`ll let you use my ticket in exchange. I`ll also buy your dad a pork bap before the game, may as well have indigestion for 90 minutes as suffer with the football. Shame I can`t use your ticket Ben, or is it a statement on where MM has taken the club if you can`t give it away!!
If we lose, can the winner throw your season ticket at the pitch as a mark of disgust?
Nice gesture buddy, enjoy the trip.
They could do mate, but the symbolic petulance of throwing a thick fleshy season ticket book is lost when it’s a little plastic card.
The cameras would think a receding, ageing fan has got the Molineux confused with the no558 bus stop or something!
Agreed…..plastic card puts that in the history books!
Rip it up and throw it at McCarthy perhaps?
Its always a good way of getting yourself seen on Match of the Day (that and fouling Joey Barton!)
So Nice striker Mamadou Bagayoko has joined Wolverhampton Wanderers on a week’s trial eh
I’ve never heard of him but from reports it’s a 31 year old who has “played just 28 minutes for the Ligue 1 side this season.” after “missing a chunk of the current campaign through injury.” and “scored once in 23 appearances last season”.
The futures bright! The cups half empty!
Why do I always think of a song for new players?
Maaaaa – maaaaaaa dou dou dou push pinapple shake a tree……?
I waiting for the “missing peice of the jigsaw” quote from the press.
Another kick in the nackers for Fletcher?
Ha, love that song.
Almost makes me wish they’d give him a contact…almost.
Yeah – I need a giggle. The Hoff has gone – long live the Mamadou! Hold up….he’s a striker…..maybe he’ll replace Wardy at left back…
Maaa maaa dou dou dou push pinapple shake a tree
Maaa maaa dou dou dou
Are you joining us for free?
On the left, on the right, defend deep or go forward,
Every match you’ll sit out ‘cos no one plays before Steve Ward!
🙂
haha – good work Scooped!
Hahaha!! Love it!!
Great work – sign him up for this chant alone!
Refined version –
Maaaa Maa Do Do Do push pineapple shake the tree
Maaa Ma Do Do Do
Are you joining us for free?
There’ll be times on the bench when you’re bound to feel quite bored
But if you want to get a game, change your name to Steven Ward!
Oh the benefits of early retirement! Too cold for golf and the tedium of these phoney war days leading up to Saturday are doing my head in!
Have to say, the refined version is spot on. Good work Scooped
Ta Ed!
What a great day not to have to miss a match!!!! Would very much like to share a glass or two of festive spirit with you if we can ever find ourselves at the Regaine Clinic (Bens house) at the same time…..
A very kind gesture of you Ben. Groveling email has just been sent.
I’ll jump on the plane on Saturday, just a n hour after Australia have won the first test, and pick Clive up on the way 🙂
No Dazza, please no. We’ve only just got rid of him!!!
I’m like that line from Papillon……………….I’m still here!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will haunt you forever, or until Wolve win a game, whichever is sooner.
0 – 2 on Sat, with McCowardly being politely shown the door at 5.05pm
Hey t’OM …enjoy the game last night ?
Ben, it seems that to be a blogger, you must be follicly, believe me I know.
I hope you get off to a flyer on Saturday, or the natives could start getting restless.
I meant follicly challenged… apologies, I’ve only had one cup of coffee.
Thanks for the support Nath. John Lalley is a bit thin on top too, no? Big fan of his work BTW.
I agree, could be a bit of a watershed moment on Saturday if things don’t go to plan….I’m better off away from it with my boy I think.
Still, I’m staying optimistic and am praying for a win.
John does top the both of us with his lack of hair, but then he is about 30 years older, so he does have an excuse!
Just writing my blog for Shoot now. So difficult to write a defence for Mick , but equally don’t want to just come across as getting on his back just because he got me the boot from the E&S. I really like John’s writing as well BTW.
I’m sure some fans would like a loss on Saturday, but lets hope we can win and get back on track. Enjoy your time with your boy, probably be more relaxing than freting in the stands.
England cricket team…sing after me ..”what a load of rubbish”
What do you mean rubbish Dazza, one of your blokes got a hat-trick didn’t he. But yeah Johnson is shit. Nice tash too!!