So you’ve all heard the one about Dennis Bergkamp looking for houses around Perton Ridge?
But what about that intoxicating rumour about Frank Rijkaard following John de Wolf to Molineux in the mid 1990s?
I don’t know about you fellow Dingles, but as an obsessive Wolves fan, there’s nothing quite like being linked to an unlikely superstar to give you a full blown erection.
I remember the damp feeling of spud juice in my boxers when I heard we had already snapped up Joe Cole – within 30 minutes of us beating Sheffield United at Cardiff in 2003. Actually, upon reflection, the spud juice was flowing pretty much all day on May 26, with or without that Joe Cole rumour. What a day that was.
The fact that 99 per cent of these rumours are totally unfounded and false is almost secondary to the heady mix of excitement, trepidation and hope that comes with all big speculation involving our club.
Without wanting to get all Ian Holloway on you all, it is a bit like pulling a fit bird isn’t it? I remember when the News of the World ran an exclusive about Paul Ince being ready to sign on the dotted line, and after the obligatory lob-on had died down, I got excited, then anxious, then hopeful, then paranoid, and then anxious again if I hadn’t seen this story confirmed within 30 minutes of reading it.
A bit like those days at school when you think you’re in with a girl, who upon first impression, might be a bit too good for you. Again, the erection comes, then goes, then that intense cocktail of emotions come to the fore again. IE, Is she bothered? Did I read those promising signs correctly? (answer tended to be an emphatic no once I’d revisited the situation).
With Incey, I remember genuinely thinking about the route he would take to get into Wolverhampton for talks, if indeed he was that bothered in the first place. I would want him to come via the Stafford Road from the north, and drive past the stadium. He’d like that view. And he wouldn’t be going along the Willenhall Road would he? Not through Horseley Fields, please? He might not want to come then, what with all the hoes hanging around (apparently).
And what if he sees the training ground and doesn’t like it? Just like that girl analogy, it is all about accentuating the positive, right? Show him our trophy cabinet and 1950s fame, tell him that he’ll have the freedom of the city. Just please tell me he loves us!
I remember telling my then wife-to-be how I liked to go to church, as I knew she was a good Irish Catholic. Yep, that should get me a snog, and maybe even a grope come 2am, irrespective of the fact that my last visit to church was for a harvest festival as an 8-year-old.
And by the time I told her that I loved my Grandma more than life itself, I was already thinking ahead to Barry White and a bit of finger pie.
Yep, you’ve got to love a bit of transfer gossip haven’t you? And do you think that the scurrilous toads that invented the rumours have any idea what they are doing to our hearts, our heads, our general outlook on life? Of course they do, the buggers!
In my memory, I recall us being linked with some emphatic Latvian chap, who indeed ended up being emphatic for some team that wasn’t Wolves. Think Dave Jones was the gaffer back then.
As alluded to in my intro, Frank Rijkaard was a great one. My old man told me that he heard from a mate (probably a mate of a mate’s cat) that legendary Dutch spitter Frank Rijkaard was on his way to the Mol, as John de Wolf had told him what a great club we were. Imagine my emotions as a kid? I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wonder what happened to that one? Perhaps he came into Wolverhampton the wrong way and turned around?!
And then there was the Richard Dunne speculation a month or two ago. How many times did you check Google News to see if there had been an update on that one? My google search bar has more ‘Richard Dunne Wolves’ references than ‘Jo Guest knickers,’ such was my obsession with that one. On a tangent, I wouldn’t search for Jo Guest now, she looks weird. And old. And ginger.
Other highlights were Platini definitely signing for us in the 1980s. And didn’t Nicolas Anelka have a trial with us once, only to be told he wasn’t up to it?!
Have you got any more to throw into the mix from yesteryear? Just don’t get all speculative with the January transfer window. I don’t think my boxers could take it.
Hmmm mix of wolves football speculation littered with your references of ‘getting a lob on’ ‘spud juice’ and ‘full blown erections’ and then throwing in ian holloway and the fit girl who inevitably turns you down.
thats a hell of a mix for a monday morning!
i think if we were to list every possible player that has been linked with our club, most of englands and europeans finest (and worst) has been talked about at some point with a degree of reckless abandon!
Steve Corica – unfortunately that bugger wasn’t merely a rumour!
@Ben. You stiched me up with the timing of your post mate. It took me an hour to covertly write a pro and con about 5 in midfield only to have your post go up at the same time only to effectivly end the thread on the previous subject. Bugger!!!!
The one I always shake my head at if it is true is that wile Darren Ferguson was at the club father Alex was quite palie with all the managers who were in charge of him. Not sure who the gaffer was at the time but I heard that Alex Ferguson called him up and said we should take a look at a young norwiegen lad playing in Norways 2nd tier.
We refused so Ferguson said “fine I’ll have then”……………….that player turned out to be the Baby Faced Assasin, Ole Gunner Solkjsar
GUTTED!!!!!
Also, not anything to do with the Wolves (well could be now sort of). My favourite rumour ever in football was that Lenox Lewis and Sol Campbell had bee looking for a house together on the south cost.
Relevant now as I have heard we could be in for him in Jan Transfer Window.
I never heard the one about Joe Cole when we went up in 2003. I’ll add that to the list. The Bergkamp story became so widespread that I actually convinced myself it was going to happen. Now that’s good bullshit.
We must have looked pretty stupid to outsiders that summer, going on about all the stars we were going to attract with the 98 pence they gave Dave Jones to spend. I still cringe thinking about it.
Isn’t it great though when one of those rumours turns out to be true?
Like Ben messed himself thinking about Ince, I was equally excited about Irwin, both when he first signed and then when he stayed on for a second year. Still the best full-back I’ve ever seen in a gold shirt.
Most recently, I was excited about Doyle. Having seen him play many times and recalling a time when Chelsea were looking at him, I just couldn’t see him signing for Wolves. So the fact we got his signature with all the other Premiership vultures circling was pretty exciting. Still think he could become a Wolves legend.
Didn’t Graham Taylor try to sign Dwight Yorke from Villa when he first came to us. He wasn’t getting much of a look in there and when he was he’d be used out of position, so apparently was interested in a move. Don’t quite know how it all fell through but think it was the season after that he started playing regularly for Villa and was from then that everyone got to know who he was
Pete. I heard the Ole Gunner one. Funnily enough, at the same time we snapped up Corica Jed! I heard we had the cash to get one or the other and opted for Corica, who McGhee said would be our Georgie Kinkladze.
I am sure someone said we once had Anelka on trial under McGhee’s tenure as well. Now that had to be false, seeing as Anelka was playing for Arsenal as a 17 year old?
Oh, and I also remember Carlton Palmer about to sign for us under Dave Jones. He was actually seen in the Billy Wright watching us. I’d have quite liked big Carlton, in a wierd kind of way.
Someone once told me, after seeing me play football, that I reminded them of Carlton Palmer. When I said I’d take that as a compliment, he said I shouldn’t because we both looked like a collection of pencils sellotaped together, running around very quickly in no particular direction.
Sounds about right.
thomas – when i heard that Fulham and Bolton had made offers for Doyle and that Spurs were interested i thought that was it, we weren’t gonna get him
I remember us being linked with Sami Hyppia too in the summer as well as Duff, Smith and Butt. It might have been worth shelling out a bit more cash to get that lot
There was a good one doing the rounds just before Taylor signed as Manager. That was that Bryan Robson was going to be our Manager as long as the Board sanctioned the purchase of Andre Kanchelskis
Does anyone else despise international breaks as much as I do. 2 weeks of nothing other than pumping the already inflated ego’s of the England squad. No Wolves news, unless you can call Murray Goodman and Daley nipping down the boozer on MM’s behalf. Tedium has set in, I need some Wolves action! Bring on the weekend!