Ben

Loved and lost

All for freedom and for pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever.

Watching Ruben Neves was always too joyous to allow us to feel that it ever would.

That we knew we were watching a genius at work was to know we had to live in the moment for every second we saw him because we knew he wouldn’t be around for much longer.

It’s the way the water flows, yeah that’s the way the story goes.

But sweet lord, what water. When streams were ripe and swelled with rain, our wonderkid created the single most joyous footballing moment of my life – whilst simultaneously making me question the very meaning of it to begin with – with *that* volley against Derby. April come he will.

Not content with painting this dreamy work of art to trump all goals before, but he made 12 months of studying Descartes at university seem worthwhile and left me questioning whether it even happened in the first place. So pure was his strike that it transcended a ball hitting a net and got me thinking of the French philosopher and what we can perceive as reality and what is pure illusion. I’m still not sure what category it falls into having watched it back a thousand times.

‘I think therefore I play.’

As the ball arrowed through floodlit skies that evoked memories of Sir Billy, Stan and dad, a tiny bit of my heart broke, realising in that nanosecond that I’d reached absolute fulfilment. Now it is breaking again, not that you can die from a broken heart, I’ve been told. It will only feel that way when I see him in another shirt.

It was Ruben Neves’ intangible quality of making time stand still which I just can’t envisage feeling again. The strike against Manchester United – the pureness of which was even too much for the VAR dictators at Stockley Park to disallow – was so irresistible that it caressed the South Bank net and the hands of the stand’s famous old clock at the very same time.

Whether he was volleying one into the top corner or lobbing effortlessly into the same place against Watford, time slowed to allow us to appreciate the strike in the manner he had in mind when creating it.

When ‘Big Six’ fans ask me if he’s any good, I want to tell them that he took me to heaven for a split second once, just to let me know what it felt like.

‘He’d do well for you,’ I reflect with a smile.

I know I’ll never be able to get there again. Not now Ruben Neves isn’t on the park. Not so much a case of not wanting to fall in love again, but knowing that I never will.

What a wicked game he played.

Firing Squad

Blog

Mix in some of Nuno’s stragglers with Bruno’s flops and a sprinkling of Uncle Jorge’s half-baked Iberian losers that nobody ever asked for in the first place and what have you got?

Arguably the worst squad never to get relegated in Premier League history.

Too many failures – wholesale changes needed

Circle the drain for long enough and you’ll eventually get sucked down. By the grace of god, we haven’t been swallowed under this season but we sure as hell will next time with so many of these half-hearted failures lining up again.

With eight less goals than Dave Jones’ rock-bottom side in 2004 and 10 less than Mick McCarthy’s disaster-class of 2012, this squad should be contemplating life in the Championship, by rights. Were it not for Craig Dawson, I’d argue that we would be.

It’s no wonder that Julen Lopetegui said that keeping them up is his biggest managerial achievement because, to put it bluntly, they’re bluffers who he simply can’t trust.

For the sake of our manager’s sanity – and surely his commitment to the cause – he needs to be able to mould his own squad before we disappear down the plughole for good.

In this most desperate of seasons, desperate measures are now needed and if we’re not to follow in Southampton’s footsteps, we need to press the reset button, bin off at least 15 of these painfully inconsistent performers and start again. Players of heart, passion, consistency and pride to wear the shirt are now needed, mirroring the man on the touchline we’re so lucky to have.

Leave

Taking out the insufferable levels of sentiment which afflicts so many of our fans, the following players should be shown the door as soon as soon as this horrendous season is finally over.

Did more than anyone to stave off the threat of relegation last season and played with a broken wrist this season. Undoubtedly a controversial choice, but his levels have dropped alarmingly. He appears unable to play out from the back in the manner the manager wants. Also appears incapable of learning from the same mistakes.

Semedo

Embodies everything wrong with this squad. Talented, but when he’s bad – which is every other game – he makes me feel nauseous just watching him. Doesn’t score, doesn’t assist and too frequently doesn’t track his man or even make an effort to get back behind the ball when squandering it. (See Palace away for the most gutless show of laziness in a Wolves shirt). A liability.

Jonny

Like Semedo, cuts the jib of a player that genuinely can’t be bothered. A shame, as he was great before two serious injuries which are surely the reason for his regression. Either way, he should never play for us again. Thanks for the memories.

Coady

More great memories than anyone and served us with pride and distinction, but there’s a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror. Where we head now is of more concern than the past and the fact he wasn’t good enough for relegation-haunted Everton, or even Bruno Lage, says it all. Thank you Conor.

Hoever

Like so many on this list, he’s so underwhelming precisely because he hints at having something. Not defensively astute enough from what I’ve seen and not at the level that we should be aspiring to reach.

Ait Nouri

Another one who hints at quality, but who follows up promise with horrendous performances, lacking the most basic pre-requisite of effort. Like so many leopards posturing as Wolves, he’s proved unable to change his spots and cannot be trusted. One silver lining is that he might command a half-decent transfer fee.

Nunes

What an abomination of a season from a bloke we all patiently waited to come good. A potentially fatal presence, precisely because he has such ability. Games against Chelsea and Brentford had everyone excited what might come next. What followed was one of the worst individual displays at Brighton in history. Is he restricted by Neves’ presence? Whatever the explanation, he’s been the most underwhelming signing in 35 years of watching Wolves. Looks constantly miserable to be here and yet another who can’t be trusted.

Sarabia

Arguably the most pointless signing I’ve had the misfortune of suffering since…Hwang? By his own admission, the Premier League is too quick for him. Every game passes him by and his flaky, featherweight presence is not enough to offset the fleeting moment of competence. Lopetegui has clearly seen enough by the fact he never plays him any more. Did he even want him in the first place? Get rid.

Hwang

Another one-good-game-in-five merchant and another who can’t be trusted. Contrary to popular opinion that he works hard, I don’t think he even does this. He postures at hard work, but never closes down or tracks back with any real purpose or intent. Must have a half decent sell-on value owing to good World Cup and commercial value.

Podence

Concedes possession more often than a baby concedes candy. Worse still, the baby has a more imposing physical presence. If there’s a more infuriating player than Podence then I’m yet to see him. Remains our most likely finisher on the rare moments we create an opening, but every other facet of his game is a luxury. We can ill afford luxuries in our predicament.

Moutinho

For the sake of his legacy, Joao must be replaced now, and only retained in some sort of coaching capacity if he wanted it as he’s earned that right. Cameos such as Spurs recently remind us of one of the best players to have worn the shirt, but age catches up with us all and it hasn’t been nice viewing to see our midfield swamped when he starts, despite his admirable effort.

Adama Traore

Since racing those kids in a car park, he’s lost 5 yards of pace. The Adama of old was one of the most electrifying sights I’ve ever seen making George Ndah look slow. But this is a pale imitation of that version. Has either lost his jet heels or can’t be bothered to engage them anymore. Coupled with an age-old millstone of revolting outputs and this is an easy decision to make.

Guedes

We all know who sanctioned this deal and we’re due a big favour for accommodating Guedes. Another who encapsulates everything I hate with this squad. No heart, desire, fight or seemingly pride in his own performances. Nonsense like this must stop.

Diego Costa

Any fan who genuinely wants to see Costa given a contract extension is, frankly, part of the problem. With his goalscoring days firmly behind him, his infectious trolling and talismanic presence can’t be enough to earn him a new deal – if he even wants to stay for another year in the first place. Appreciative of his hard work, but the levels of sickly sentiment amongst some clouds what we actually need in the here and now.

Jimenez

Pains me to write this, as he remains the best striker I have seen since Steve Bull. But, through no fault of his own, he is no longer the superstar he once was. His powers have waned and it has been sad to see his levels deteriorate so markedly. Better to have loved and lost, and we will forever love the Mexican.

Keep

Neves

No words are needed, but the future of our wonderkid from Porto rests with him and his agent, I’m sure, making this entry largely irrelevant!

Dawson

Did more than anyone to ensure we didn’t get swallowed into the drain.

Lemina

Another with the requisite minerals and pride to wear the shirt.

Kilman

Body language occasionally belies a very talented footballer. An ever-present with age on his side.

Collins

I might be in a minority, but thought Collins looked very promising. Still young, thrown in at the deep-end and will surely be better for the experience.

Bentley

While one swallow doesn’t make a summer, his Old Trafford debut hints at great promise. At worst, an able back-up keeper.

Toti

He has great potential and our side generally picks up more points with him in it. A rough diamond to be polished

Bueno

A rare highlight in an otherwise miserable season. Huge promise and a player who can only get better.

B Traore

Looks to have the assets that so many of the above lack. Deserves a chance after injury.

Gomes

A cult-hero in the making and displays like Chelsea (home) suggest that we’ve found a gem

Cunha

Can count himself fortunate not to be on the list, as he’s been a horrendously expensive gamble and the jury is still out. Hoping that a bona-fide no9 will unlock new levels for Cunha as a no10.

Neto

His health has been hopelessly mismanaged by Nuno and Bruno and he needs time and support to get back to his old levels. If he finds them again, he’ll be an asset.

Kalajdzic

Another whose body was treated like a losing lottery ticket. Hope we will hit the jackpot from the £15m signing but remains to be seen if we will. Idly thrown into the breeze against his wishes with a dodgy knee was another blot on this shambolic season.

Fabio

Whilst one of his biggest critics, we should look at him following two loan spells of seeming success. With such shameful goal outputs by our hapless forward this season, he can be no worse and by occupying the same areas of the pitch he used to, he could be valuable with greater physicality and experience.

Hodge

Showed ample levels of attitude, pride and passion, hinting at why Man City thought so highly of him. A loan will do him the world of good next season.

Cundle

Another loan at Swansea City might suit all parties. Like Hodge, displays great attitude and this should not be taken for granted.

Chiquinho

A potential ace-in-the-pack. Much more direct than other forwards we’ve had to endure this season. Another I’d look to loan out.

Wolves 2 Crystal Palace 0

Blog, Crystal Palace

Up until recently, the only blessing I could take from this tortuous season was the fact that whoever printed three incongruous words on the inside of our replica shirts did so where nobody could see them.

Better never stops.

Until Julen Lopetegui oversaw his first game on Boxing Day, a half-arsed squad of no hopers hadn’t bothered to get started. Twenty-seven points later, featuring three consecutive home wins and we’re positively racing towards safety.

These three priceless points were testament to a team who never stopped from the first minute to the last against an extremely impressive Crystal Palace side who had us on the ropes for long periods. That they didn’t blow the house down after lengthy spells of pressure was down to our own huffing and puffing in an admirable team effort that was barely recognisable a matter of months ago.

A far cry from Jonny and Neves playing centre backs at West Ham or the reverse fixture against Palace, when players couldn’t be bothered to track back or even mark their men. This win shows how far we’ve come under a manager who has worked miracles, whilst simultaneously reminding us that timing is everything.

Were it not for the gift of an unprecedented winter World Cup break, the chance to bang some heads together and the opportunity to recruit some new ones, we would surely have been cut adrift by this stage of the season. Fixtures against a beleaguered Frank Lampard (Everton) and a bereft Nathan Jones (Southampton) would also be taken like medicine. But neither of those wins, nor this one against Palace, would have been possible without some good old fashioned hard yakka.

It was more Big Mick shift than precision-peak Nuno and we were all the better for it against an Eagles side that never stopped attacking. Some crucial blocks, interceptions and a couple of fine Jose Sa saves kept Palace at bay, with one brilliant tip over the bar at the North Bank end evoking Darren Pitcher flashbacks, as the ball arrowed towards the same space where a stanchion used to perch.

Twenty-eight years since that FA Cup replay and there would be no repeat of that scoreline, even if this modern-day Palace side impressed me more than Chris Armstrong and company.

Tonight belonged to the good guys, with admirable levels of perspiration from every player worth its weight in gold, typified by Diego Costa’s tireless running from the front and Craig Dawson’s understated ruthlessness at the back. In between them, the best player to pull on a Wolves shirt since the days of Graham Taylor shone in ways reserved only for him. In slamming home the injury time penalty, torrents of adoration poured from the South Bank like waves, as if we knew it might be the last time we could tell him.

As the ball hit the South Bank net, redemption for this maligned squad would be complete.

Better late than never.

Everton 1 Wolves 2

Blog, Everton

Better to be lucky than good.

Podence – great goal to reward a sharp performance

In Julen Lopetegui’s debut in the Premier League, it appears we might have a manager who is both.

The Spaniard’s pedigree was beyond question before we finally landed him in November, the evidence of which could be seen in a late change in formation that stymied Everton in the latter stages and assisted our smash-and-grab winner at the death.

But even more encouraging was him benefiting from a generous dollop of good fortune, because we’ve been light on it in recent times and moreover, we were crap.

Call it the gravy on the turkey or the brandy butter on the Christmas pud, it tasted delicious and we need lashings more of the ingredient until our Spaniard can weed out a few of these failures and replace with much better in January.

Matheus Cunha is an excellent start and will surely offer infinitely more than the leaden footed carthorse Costa, who we should never have touched with a bargepole in the first place.

Some other additions with much needed leadership qualities wouldn’t go amiss either, as we sold the few we had to begin with, didn’t replace and now have a flaky side who I wouldn’t trust to put the bins out, never mind mark a player from a corner. Mina’s free header after seven minutes being a stark reminder of why.

In fact, the 88 minutes thereafter were a sobering post World Cup reminder of why we plunged to the foot of the league before the tournament began. Amid the garbage was surely Podence’s best performance of the season in a heartening showing. He was one of few who really caught the eye and deserves praise, irrespective of his well-taken goal.

We are incapable of keeping the ball and are too-often overrun in midfield, our defence is laced with errors and we don’t have nearly enough cutting thrust in the final third. Our game management is awful and we don’t work hard enough when we don’t have the ball.

Collins’ profligacy in the first half and Hwang’s revolting lack of effort to track back thereafter gave three examples of the above in the space of 5 seconds. Everton’s Gordon should have scored and on another day, he would have.

Collins also resembled a baby giraffe when the ball hit his heels which allowed Maupay a clear sighter at goal which he’s buried against us in one or two previous fixtures.

Thankfully he didn’t and in fairness, Everton operated at arm’s length in the second half for the most part, although we still needed a goal line clearance from Neves to preserve what looked like a handy away point.

It would become all three when we showed an unlikely ruthless edge with the last attack of the game, Ait Nouri firing home from a deflected Traore cross, aided by a lovely Nunes through ball in the build-up.

For Lopetegui, he couldn’t have dreamt of 5pm scenes like these. A performance littered with the same old errors, featuring the same flaky failures who prompted his mercy-dash to Molineux to begin with, and three priceless points as a reward for watching it all…

…The lucky old devil.

Wolves 1 Nottingham Forest 0

Blog, Nottingham Forest

As one out-of-work manager succinctly put it back in the day: “Our performance today would not have been the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.”

Beggars can’t be choosers in other words, even if this was revolting to look at for large parts against a side we really should be much prettier against.

Or should we? With a misfiring front line once again firing blanks in open play and a quite hopeless attempt at game management after going a goal up, it’ll take a lot more than Ian Holloway to steer this lot away from the threat of relegation.

There were positives in the three points we pulled and the fact this group are clearly committed to the cause, as seen in when Podence collapsed to the floor upon hearing the referee blow up as the clock struck 5pm. Diego Costa’s role as mischief maker was also galvanising, and might just be as critical as the goals he will or won’t score in future. (Oh, and Morgan Gibbs-White did little to suggest we’re missing much and didn’t score against us, thank the lord!)

But our kamikaze attempts at ball-retention from the hour-mark – from players who should know better – was so inept it bordered on the laughable. Befitting of a side unable to win games of football, we looked like rabbits in the headlights with Jonny, Neves, Nunes and Moutinho squandering possession in increasingly maddening ways. And Hwang’s late cameo lacked even more energy than the three fans having a kick through the hole at half time.

Against better opponents, there’d be no Status Quo at the full time whistle, but more league table irregularities and more questions posed than answers.

But as it is, we thank Jose Sa for saving our bacon and can finally tune into Match of the Day for only the second time this season, safe to come out from behind the sofa at long last.

Whether this proves to be a turning point remains to be seen, but I’d suggest we have to play a heck of a lot better. We kept a clean sheet by the grace of god and a litany of errors by Toti, Jonny and Ait Nouri ensured we were on the edge of our seat until we were finally put out of our misery.

The good news is that Collins should now be back and the players will surely be buoyed by the win, however ugly it was.

The bad news is we play Crystal Palace on Tuesday night, so bungling another 3pts into the back of a cab will be a much taller order on bitter experience – even more so if we keep giving the ball away like this.

Wolves 0 Man City 3

Blog, Man City

Since April 3, Wolves have scored four Premier League goals at Molineux, compared to Manchester City’s eight.

In other words, as soon as Jack Grealish bundled in the opener before we’d finished contemplating Queen Elizabeth II’s reign, the game was done and dusted.

Thoughts now turn to King Charles III’s tenure, and how many weeks into it before we see another goal again. With this front-three in particular, I wouldn’t bet against it being Christmas.

Ok, so Nathan Collins will rightly receive the wrath of many for a braindead challenge on the City player we like to hate most, but in truth we’d been playing with 10 men up until that point anyway, as the hopeless Pedro Neto was being carried for another week, as he keeps up his woeful impersonation of his former self.

Unfashionable as it is to say this no doubt, but if Adama Traore was pulling the stunts – or lack of – that Neto has all season, he’d have been hounded out the starting XI by the baying masses long before now. Alongside Neto, Podence still does nothing to disprove that he’s a quirky, novelty player, while Guedes looks like the pair of them put together…

…All fur coat and no knickers.

Opting for one luxury player against arguably the best team in the western world right now is asking for trouble, but three across the front line is only going to end one way, as it has every game bar Leeds, Newcastle and Southampton…

…Goalless, clueless and quite honestly, hopeless.

And more proof, were it needed, that without Man City’s 2019 tormentor in the team we look infinitely less likely to score than we do when he’s out injured, as he was today in a big blow before kick off.

While many fans are claiming this squad to be the most talented in their lifetime (with a fair degree of validity), I’d wager that it’s also the most toothless side that I’ve seen in the final third, give or take those Le Fondre days of woe. So whilst defeats like this one against Man City are never going to define our season, the shocking ‘goals for’ column is, as is a meagre 6 points from 7 games and a potential drop to the Premier League relegation zone by the time those below have played their game in hand.

The two claims must be mutually exclusive, as it’s inconceivable that this vaunted squad we’re all so quick to laud can be so pathetic when approaching an opposition penalty box? Even in the dying embers of this fixture with the game done and dusted, we refused to load any players in the box. I.E We were (in)actively looking not to score, which can only be an instruction from the coach.

A churlish definition? Perhaps, but players are literally refusing to shoot at goal or even make a run into the box to receive the ball to shoot in the first place. It is beyond maddening now and one paltry shot today was another damning indictment, irrespective of the opposition or the fact we had a man less for an hour when playing them.

That we kept the score down to three with 10 men was a minor moral victory to cling on to, while Boubacar Traore gave a promising cameo off the bench late on.

Yet despite the glaringly obvious, we did play some good stuff in spells, as typified in the 15mins between City’s two goals, while some of the play after we went a man down was pleasant enough, albeit lacking in any sort of cutting edge that would get you off your seat. Only Her Majesty did that in the 70^th minute, in a doubly sobering moment.

But before I join the growing cat-calls towards Bruno, I’ll keep my powder dry for now as I sense (without any evidence, granted!) that he is aware of our side’s glaring deficiency and needs longer to put it right.

Signing Boubacar Traore and Diego Costa would suggest this to be the case, with the former here to drive us up the pitch and the latter given the diktat to cause mayhem in the box.

Firing blanks thereafter will be a sackable offence though, irrespective of who we’re up against.

Loved and lost

Firing Squad

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Wolves 2 Crystal Palace 0

Everton 1 Wolves 2

Wolves 1 Nottingham Forest 0

Wolves 0 Man City 3

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