When my Dad told me that there’s nothing like watching a game of football live, I thought he was some sort of twisted sadist, being as we’re both Wolves fans.
It turns out that he is, but it’s only now that I understand what he was on about.
It’s not the footballing fare that is so incomparable to the living room alternative, but the peripheral sounds and sights that live in the memory far longer than most of the games out on the pitch.
This blog will look at some of the more infectious whoops and wails from fellow fans, which are still guaranteed to bring a smile to my face – years after each pent-up supporter decided to let loose.
1. ‘Change gear Bellamy!’ This forthright demand was in response to our lovable defender’s attempts to keep up with an opposition striker, as he struggled in a home game back in 1989. It amused Dad enormously, because the metaphorical turn of phrase was so unintentionally appropriate. The whole stand laughed.
2. ‘I dunno know what yer’ laffing at Mo – it ai’ f**king funny!’ This one punctuated a collective intake in breath in the Billy Wright Stand when Mo Camara gave away a needless free kick on the edge of the box in injury time, like only Mo could (we were hanging on). As he hacked down their striker for no apparent reason, he turned to face the forward – and our stand – with a whopping great grin on his face. The native behind me was not amused.
3. ‘Nayla! You should have been ‘draerned at berth!’ This one tickled me, purely because it was so excessive – yet perversely understandable at the time. Lee Naylor had just done his customary trick of completely missing a 6,000 square yard target (I.E. the entire pitch) by slicing the ball out of play at 100mph, while attempting a first time pass. It must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because old age pensioner Terry in front of me, like a lost African lion in captivity, roared that Lee Naylor should have been drowned at the point of birth.
4. Constant referral to Shaun Newton as ‘Isaac’ by the bloke in front. Believing he was a thinking man’s fan, the old boy in ‘row P’ would cajole, encourage and most usually berate our mercurial winger when calling him Isaac. Only one person thought this was funny…Namely Tony himself, who assumed comic like proportions during his half time beer break.
5. Constant referral to Stephen Hunt as ‘Isaac’ by the bloke in front. By the time we were fighting a double relegation, Tony had reverted back to type. He also came up with the one or two other infectious nicknames for other ex-players, with the following four highlights:
· Kennedy = Sarah
· Ganea = Gonorrhoea
· Seol Ki Hyeon = Arse
· Okoronkwo = Orinoco Flow (opted against Isaac this time)
That completes my (not so) humorous anecdotes from yesteryear, which at least tickled me when the games in question weren’t.
Any more for any more?!