Archives for July 2009

Would One Big Signing Change the Mood?

Perusing some of the various Wolves message boards, it seems like doom, gloom and negativity has become universal. The news that Michael Kightly will almost certainly miss the opening games of the season (at the very least), seems to have been the final straw for many. Understandable really.

With our flying winger still fighting his way back and £6.5 million of Kevin Doyle sitting on the sidelines, it’s a bit of a hammer blow (no pun intended) to our visions of what we expected for the West Ham match and beyond.

My question is, would one signing change the mood?

Mancienne - The answer to our problems?

Mancienne - The answer to our problems?

Many still seem to be clinging by their finger nails to the hope that Mancienne will check in before the season commences. Could he be the man to reinvigorate the Molineux faithful? I’ve been one of the people who has poured cold water on this move all summer, questioning whether he’s got the strength and experience to really make a difference.

But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of his pace and calming assuredness being part of our back four. He doesn’t make many mistakes and we need error-free performances regularly from our defenders, as we can’t afford to be handing our presents. Out of all the players we can realistically expect to get, he would probably represent the biggest coup, at least in terms of quality.

Another centre-half we’ve been linked too (although still unconfirmed) is Richard Dunne. I know a lot of us in Old Gold are keen to see the Irishman arrive and believe his experience as an established Premiership performer would make him a key signing. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been keeping an eye on the defensive signings that City make, wondering if he’ll become available. It’s been widely speculated that he will move on, but nothing seems to have materialised just yet. Out of interest, would you rather have Dunne or Mancienne? It’s a tricky one for me. I’d probably go with Dunne, just for the experience. Many will disagree.

Or perhaps it’s an attacking player that will provide the tonic to our fading optimism? But who though? There’s every chance that if we become desperate as the season approaches, Mick will draft in some Jonny Foreigner we know pretty much nothing about. We’ve been linked with a few, so it will be interesting to see if any of them actually come to fruition.

Again, from a personal point-of-view I’d like to see us get someone who has plied their trade in the Premiership, but I can’t really think of any names we might have a chance of getting. Dean Ashton was mentioned by one ambitious supporter, but even if he was available, he’s incredibly injury-prone so would we really want to take the gamble and splash out big bucks on someone who might only make a handful of appearances?

I think when you look at what’s available at the moment, you begin to realise why the recruitment drive has slowed somewhat. However, I’d be surprised and slightly disappointed if it turns out that we’ve done all the business we’re going to do in this window.

I also fear that if no more signings arrive and results don’t go our way quickly, the board will once again be accused of trying to ‘do it on the cheap’, something that would be difficult to argue with.

R.I.P Sir Bobby Robson

There’s not many times I’ll stray away from topics purely relating to Wolves, but I had to post a little something in honour of Sir Bobby Robson, who has passed away at the age of 76.

What a legend and a true gentleman of the sport.

R.I.P Sir Bobby.

We All Dream of a Team of Gary Breens

Being as I am a miserable so and so, I thought I’d stay true to form by picking my worst ever Wolves XI for a bit of a laugh.

One way of looking at this exercise is that I am a) cleansing my mind and general outlook and b) Displaying that however we do this season, it could be a whole lot worse.

So consider this as a colonic irrigation for my stodgy, poopy, smelly pessimism. (this is from the period 1988 – 2009)

Please bear in mind that my choices are purely on the games I have seen these players play in. IE, I will not opt for Jesus Sanjuan, Jens Dowe, etc, purely as I never saw them, or couldn’t remember seeing them.

weetabixSo in goal, number one, Tony Lange. Ex-WBA which doesn’t help and utter tripe. I recall a ‘Weetabix dive’ at home to Brighton when we lost 4-2 in 89/90. Shipped goals like a bear ships shit in the woods.

rankineNumber 2: Mark Rankine. ‘Shabba’ came as a midfielder from some racked off team, and immediately revealed he had an eye for goal. I believe his one and only goal was a diving header at home to Cambridge (in his first game?) but that was a false dawn and a half. His flat feet and Big Mamma backside made him look like a penguin with a darts board up his arse. Turner moved him to right back, and he stank there too. Plus, I can’t put him centre mid as I have an embarrassment of riches for that position.

oleg_luzhnyNumber 3: Oleg Luzhny. Oh dear. I was mildly excited about us signing the ex-Ukraine captain, but in a meagre 16 appearances for us, I can’t honestly remember a decent performance. Perhaps the expectation was on his shoulders as he was the only Premier League transfer that anyone had heard of. Plus, I always consoled myself with the thought that Arsene Wenger knew his eggs when it came to players. Either Luzhny started smoking crack when he joined us, or he was just gut-wrenchingly shit.

cave-MANNumber 4: Paul Stancliffe. The former Sheffield United centre back forged the slowest defensive partnership in football history with the late, not very great, Rob Hindmarch (RIP). They were so slow, so hairy and so primitive I actually once thought I witnessed evolution going back two stages in one game. He also scored the most hilarious own goal of all time, when he larruped an innocuous, slow pass / cross into his own net from 6 yards, despite no opposition player being in our half (seriously). We lost 5-0 v Barnsley in that game. Great time

BJORKLUND_J_2003_GH_RNumber 5: Joachim Bjorkland. He may have been decent once, but he wasn’t when he played for us. In fact, did he ever play for us? It always incensed me how he signed on a 1 year deal as a 33 year old, yet Jez Moxey would not sign Paul Butler on a 2 year deal as a 32 year old, as he was too old?

FergusonNumber 6: Darren Ferguson. Remember the chants: “Who needs Cantona when we’ve got Ferguson”? I forget how funny us fans can be!!! No offence Darren, but I did need Cantona quite badly, along with every other joker who sang that song. At the time, Graham Turner needed Cantona, Sir Jack’s gold Barclaycard and a genie in a bottle. Didn’t help Darren’s cause that we bought Chris Marsden at the same time for a fraction of the cost, who was a million times better.

olofinjanaNumber 7: Seyi Olofinjana. Sorry folks, you might not agree with this, but I just thought he was complete rot. The championship’s greatest midfielder, our very own Patrick Vieira. Maybe, once every 15 games. In between, you had an imposter who flinched and ducked like Mary Whitehouse at an Amsterdam ping pong show. I’m sure there are far worse centre midfielders to choose from, but I can’t think of them at the moment.

forrest_gump_1Number 8: Tim Steele. Our very own Forrest Gump. He ran in straight lines only, and had to be the most uncouth, unskilled winger since, well, there’s the problem. I had been reared exclusively on Robbie Dennison, so I immediately resented him. Another good reason is that I was promised his autograph as a little nipper, only for him to completely custard pie me and my Dad. You see Tim, revenge is a dish best served cold. Ha!

taylorNumber 9: Robert Taylor. Colin Lee went and bought this blob from rehab, I said NO, NO, NO! Not sure if he was in rehab or not, but he sure played like he did. Colin Lee’s entire tenure is now defined by this gargantuan mistake, such is the magnitude of it. I really loved what Colin Lee was trying to build at Molineux. Astute signings, along with some proven players such as Alan Nielsen and Keith Curle made me believe again, only for him to have a complete brainwave and buy this lump with the last remaining pennies in the bank. Colin, you’re fired.

frankowskiNumber 10: Tomasz Frankowski. Final piece in the jigsaw my rectum.

elliottNumber 11: Stephen Elliott. ‘Sleeves’ is playing right midfield in this formation, bearing in mind that Mick said he was the best player in that position in the whole league when Kightly was injured. Maybe this inclusion is more a symbolic one..Symbolic of all the players we’ve invested time and money in due to genuine track record, only for said player to spunk it back in our faces. His point blank miss at QPR made me cry. (Cue new terrace name of Missy Elliott). He then came back and made me cry for a second time when he scored twice for Preston against us. Nice one.

* Thomas: Where I’ve added comical images rather than pictures of the players themselves, it’s because I couldn’t find a picture of them on the whole of the internet. A true mark of shitness.