The day that fairness died

December 29, 2011 By

Back in 2009, Frank Lampard got a red card against Liverpool overturned by the FA for a late tackle on Xabi Alonso.

The preceding season, John Terry got his sending off against Man City withdrawn despite lunging in on their striker Jo on the halfway line.

Nenad Milijas wasn’t so fortunate for little old Wolves though, as his clean, fair challenge on Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta is still deemed to be a red card offence, despite video footage and every single pundit across the country thinking otherwise.

The two Chelsea players happened to be playing for their country you see, while the bloke from Serbia was just daring to play for lowly Wolves at Arsenal.

It’s no wonder FIFA think the FA are a xenophobic bunch of hypocrites, when only last month they were appealing Wayne Rooney’s crude thigh raking kick against Montenegro.

Milijas punished for a fair tackle

At least we have learned one thing for certain during this twisted decision to uphold Stuart Attwell’s attempt to pevert the course of justice at the Emirates Stadium.

Namely, that the FA are a spineless, corrupt organisation who place pecking order over impartiality.

If our red card case was seen before a Magistrate, the court clerk would have thrown the hearing out for wasting everyone’s time.

On past crimes alone, Stuart Attwell would have been the man in the dock for his latest example of incompetence and not us, only weeks after blundering at White Hart Lane when sending off Gary Cahill.

Only three seasons after awarding a goal at Vicarage Road that never even existed.

But this is the Premier League world we live in folks.

A world where fair play and self deprecating hard graft by both manager and players is penalised, yet incessant Ryan Shawcross-style haranguing is applauded.

After Dick Turpin conquered against Newcastle at Molineux this season (Mark Halsey), Anthony Taylor was next to turn fair play on its head by refusing to send off Woodgate for Stoke when playing at the same place.

Coincidence? Add in the following from the 2010/11 season off the top of my head:

  1. James Perch trip on Jarvis at home to Newcastle while winning 1-0. No penalty.
  2. Gallas assault on Jarvis at White Hart Lane in 6 yard box while winning 1-0. No penalty.
  3. Stephen Warnock pre-meditated studs-up challenge for Villa not earning second yellow, let alone red. Warnock sets up Heskey for the winner.
  4. Fabregas scything, stretcher inducing challenge on Ward for Arsenal at Molineux. No red, Fabregas sets up second goal.
  5. Stearman headed, winning goal against Spurs disallowed at Molineux when punched in head by Gomez. Free kick awarded to Spurs.

I could add an endless list of howlers from the season before, when we were shafted more times than a rent boy on an initiation; such was our own induction to the world’s ‘greatest league.’

(Dunne rugby tackle on Doyle at home to Villa – no penalty; Wilson catching the ball for Portsmouth at home – no penalty; Fellaini assault on Doyle at Everton – no free kick and Everton then score)

Can anyone name one decision we have got in our favour in all this time?

And all the while, our stoic, honest manager turns the other cheek and shakes each referee’s hand as they walk off the pitch to daub another indiscretion on the dressing room wall for the next cheat to laugh at.

Pulis and Warnock decide go to work on the 4th official from kick off instead, in their unique interpretation of the Respect the Ref campaign.

It’s no wonder Stephen Hunt says we should start playing the game ‘properly’ like every other club does, in an attempt to level up a surface which is rapidly becoming unplayable.

If Mick McCarthy had any bollocks, he’d be saying the same thing right now and Steve Morgan would be bankrolling every single forthcoming fine.

It might pain the FA and the Premier League to admit it, but John Terry wasn’t the first centre half to win 100 caps for his country (He was the first to screw a teammate’s wife and call a fellow pro a f**king black c**t though)

Billy Wright CBE was, and he wore the gold shirt of Wolverhampton Wanderers.

The same Wolverhampton Wanderers that stuck floodlights on their stands when no other club had the inclination.

Floodlights to capture nights of European football that the great Stan Cullis dreamed up, which Stuart Attwell’s chosen few are still dining out on today.

If the FA and the Premier League would prefer to treat our gold with distain while masturbating over Sheikh Mansour’s, then let them.

But not before we’ve let them know exactly how we all feel about it.

Please join me in emailing and telephoning the FA’s hotline to report incidents of discrimination.

Email: FootballForAll@TheFA.com 0800 085 0508

Running on empty

December 22, 2011 By

If there’s one thing worse than buying pointless Christmas presents that nobody wants to open, then it’s the realisation that the MOT is overdue and the tax disc needs renewing.

Any festive spirit melted like piddle-ridden snow when I realised my treasured Ford Focus needed significant investment to maintain its roadworthy status.

Too many miles on the clock you see.

Clocking up the miles

Previously reliable filters and brake pads are packing up under the strain of the modern day commute.

A bit like Mick McCarthy’s Wolves team, which should really be no worse than it was in 2009/10 when the sum of its parts are assessed.

Unfortunately however, it is.

Take Kevin Doyle, the best lone centre forward I have had the pleasure of watching in a Wolves shirt, who has since been thrashed to the point of write-off.

For a third successive season, he has been running frantically to stand still, as have one or two others in a gold shirt.

Forget the misleading soundbites that we are just about better off than at this stage last season, because we are clearly not.

Comparing last season’s corresponding fixtures to this, we are four points worse off right now  -  and nine if you factor in this season’s two point total from the three promoted teams at home compared to a seven point haul from last season’s relegated outfits at Molineux.

In other words, we are like my Ford Focus, which used to fly through its MOT tests but no longer has the engine to replicate past performances.

Only Ronald Zubar, Stephen Fletcher and Matt Jarvis (and Hennessey of course) look anything like Premier League quality these days.

It is no coincidence, bearing in mind they have far more fuel in their tanks than so many of their team mates.

And thereby lies the tale for Mick McCarthy and his admirable – if not backfiring – team of workaholics.

Mark McGhee’s fatal flaw was his great big gob, Graham Taylor’s was an England skeleton in his closet while Colin Lee’s was a signing in the shape of Robert Taylor.

It is a measure of Mick McCarthy as a man that his fatal flaw is honest hard work.

Like my trusted Ford Focus, there have been some memorable journeys that I’ll always be indebted to, but three years of full throttle, 90 minute outings are evidently unsustainable.

Not without a hefty repair bill, or a sportier new model altogether.

Wolves 2 Norwich 2

December 21, 2011 By

If only we could have swapped the first 30 minutes of the Stoke game with this one, then we’d probably be sat in 14th place looking forward to Christmas.

Unfortunately for us all, we can’t get the opening stages of this fixture back, just like we can’t rewind the clock to rectify the wretched second half showing on Saturday.

 In an often pulsating game with 23 shots on target, the one big paradox is that there’s nothing much to talk about on the pitch.

Not quite poor enough for the ‘Mick Out’ brigade to shout too loudly, and not quite good enough to get the three points.

Gercha! Thumping header from Zubar

Just stuck in 17th place for what feels like a lifetime and a tasteless crumb of comfort through that little word called ‘if.’

Despite the woeful Adam Hammill late header, the Fletcher offside decision and the hopeless performance of Roger Johnson, there is nothing much left to see here folks.

Everything that happens from now on is largely immaterial in comparison to the moving and shaking that simply has to happen in January.

We all know that the players are a stoic, committed bunch and we all know they will sweat blood for the cause.

What I know on last night’s showing is that with three quality additions in January, we will become a decent Premier League team.

Our second half performance was as progressive as I can remember and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute – until Norwich scored a thoroughly preventable goal that no other team in this league would ever get caught out with.

It was naive, soft, weak and it underlines why we will get relegated unless something is done in January.

If Nedem Onoura comes in to partner the quite brilliant Christophe Berra (and that was an understatement) we will shore up our defence immeasurably.

If Kenwyne Jones is signed to partner Steven Fletcher, then the goals will be scored far more freely.

And if the speed of Lewis McGugan replaces the one-paced Hunt and offsets the near-unplayable Matt Jarvis, then we will mount more attacks than ever.

The big if now is whether Steve Morgan will make these deals – or similar signings of this ilk – a reality come January 1.

If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t need me to tell him where we’ll end up.

Wolves 1 Stoke City 2

December 18, 2011 By
If ever proof was needed that the FA’s ‘Respect the Ref’ campaign is a pointless, impotent insult to any right minded football fan’s intelligence, then this latest Molineux debacle was it.

One team, full of pre-meditated antagonism, stretching the laws of decency to breaking point, while the other turned the other cheek.

One perplexed managed looked on passively, while his counterpart’s hate-ridden face frantically chewed gum to quell the bile inside.

The shellsuited personification that is Tony Pulis hurled more expletives at the fourth official as bottles of water on the turf.

He swore black was white, instructed every one of his gargantuan team to do likewise and verbally abused the fourth official more times than a Burslem wife beater on Stella.

Kind of makes a mockery of that spineless FA campaign don’t you think, when Stoke’s pre-planned hostility is fawned over by a gutless referee, who spat at our attempts at respect as if we were the criminals.

Foul on Crouch by Johnson. Presumably.

Let’s get one thing straight first off…

…Stoke City are infinitely better than us and boast the calibre of player that Mick McCarthy could barely recognise, let alone play.

But when a referee decides to widen the chasm in class by cheating, then football immediately stops being a game that I can ever associate with.

Anthony Taylor was the faceless friend of the school ground bully, lapping up every insult and profanity that Stoke City threw his way.

He cheated by not sending off Jonathan Woodgate for hacking down Jarvis a second time in the process of conceding a penalty (second bookable offence).

He then failed to spot a clear tackle by Roger Johnson on Jon Walters, deciding to reward fair play with a free kick to Stoke, from which they levelled.

Predictably, Stoke go on to win due to their superior ability at retaining possession and Tony Pulis can congratulate the men he had spent the last 90 minutes chastising.

That’s Premier League football folks.

This whole sub plot is inextricable to the game itself, so to quote Big Ron on a famous Monday Night Football interview: ‘If the boys play badly I’ll whip ‘em, but I ain’t whipping them for that.’

In short, we were great for 30 minutes and were by far the better team, going 1-0 up from the spot as Jarvis revelled in the absence of Andy Wilkinson.

While the referee clearly influenced the game by not sending off Woodgate, a secondary turning point was when Stephen Hunt ignored Steven Fletcher with the goal gaping before half time.

Whatever Mick said to his men at the break clearly didn’t work, as Stoke forced their way back into the game through the referee’s second clear moment of ineptitude.

But for all our gripes at the injustice of it all, we never made Sorensen save a single shot in the second half, looking completely dumbfounded at how to stem the red and white tide.

Stephen Ward, for all his vast improvement, was caught out for a second successive Saturday and with the ball firmly in our court to attack, we did nothing.

The threat of Jarvis was nullified when Pennant and Shotton doubled up on him, yet our secondary threat in Adam Hammill was once again ignored as we laboured to the final whistle.

Eleven defeats in 14 – featuring two feeble victories – tells us all we need to know about our side.

With peanuts to play with in January to strengthen it, maybe Mick would be better served calling up his good mate Pulis for a chat.

Knowing how to ‘win friends and influence people’ might earn us more points come May 13 than £4.5 million quid ever could.

Strike it lucky

December 12, 2011 By

Most people who watch that irritating John Lewis advert get all gooey eyed and giddy about this ‘most wonderful time of the year.’

When I see that little boy counting down the clock to Christmas my mind starts dreaming of something else completely.

Any of the above?

Transfer window time!

Before we know it, Steve Morgan can dust off his chequebook and give us all a belated Crimbo present or two to enjoy for months to come.

And if he gives us a pair of crappy socks in the footballing form of Mujangi, then save yourself the effort Steve. It’s the thought that counts, remember!

So with a measly 16 goals from 15 games so far this season, it is as clear as Santa’s beard that we need a striker in January and he must have pace.

We never get in behind teams and aside from Jarvo’s recent renaissance; we don’t have a genuine outlet that can turn defence into attack at the blink of an eye.

So who, within reason and a £3 million budget, is going to fill the old gold stockings come the January window?

Here’s a list of likely targets who might be cheap and possibly cheerful.

Nicky Maynard

We always seem to be linked to Maynard, probably because he ticks most of the boxes.

He can score all types of goals, from a Football League goal of the season in 2010 (bicycle kick away at QPR) to the tap in against us a few years ago.

He’s out of contract in the summer too, so there’s no way City can demand the big bucks.

 

 

Billy Sharp

I always like what I see with Billy Sharp (aside from his belting strike past us for Donny in the FA Cup). Yes, he didn’t have the best of times at Bramall Lane, but to say he is rubbish is as much of a fallacy as to say he owes his Scunthorpe success to Andy Keogh.

Sharp is still banging in the goals in a poor Donny side and although he is not jet heeled, he has a turn of pace and he has an eye for goal. Above all else, he wouldn’t command the fee he used to.

 

Wilfried Zaha

One swallow does not make a summer folks, unless I am watching the Carling Cup at Old Trafford.

I saw this jet heeled kid running rings round the Manchester United defence and thought: “Who the hell is this?”

I checked Wikipedia and was told he has only scored 3 in about 60 games, a stat which adds to the intrigue.

He is 19 and moreover, he looks exactly the type of player Mick loves, being as he is young, hungry and works his backside off. He was even sprinting towards the corner flag in the 119th minute after going down with cramp two minutes earlier.

The likelihood of this one happening is as skinny as his legs, being as a load of clubs are apparently looking at him.

Marvin Emnes

Another one with pace with similar attributes to Maynard. Looks a handful and we all know about him from the FA Cup in 2008/09 when he smashed two past us.

His repertoire of goals suggests he can score the type of goals that our strikers can’t – running through, in behind defenders. With a bit of pace!

However, there would appear to be something of the Akinbiye about him and he’s dried up of late. Not sure, but worth a look and would fit into our price range.

 

Marvin Sordell

To be brutally frank, I haven’t heard his name being banded about but whenever I watch out for Kightly’s contributions at Watford, I seem to see this guy scoring.

So I looked him up…Brendan Rogers is looking at him, after nabbing their last prolific striker off the Hornets in the summer (Graham). Nigel Adkins also likes him too, who knows a bit about centre forward from his time at Scunny.

Worth £3 million. This buys you pace apparently.

 

Ross McCormack

Another (relatively) cheap target, who Mick first eulogised over in the season we won the CCC.

I remember us winning at Cardiff 2-1 and Mick spent far longer salivating off over a lad called McCormack than he did our goalscorers SEB and Big Chris.

After a lean spell, he is plundering in the goals for Leeds, and my mate who is a Leeds fan said he is the business. Says they can’t do without him.

If it’s good enough to piss him off, then let’s spend, spend, spend!

 

Mame Diouf

Thought I’d end with a joker in the pack. Don’t ask me why I’ve thrown this name into the mix. It’s just a hunch I have. He’s not prolific, he is never going to set your pulse racing if you heard we’d signed him and for those reasons alone, he looks like a nailed on target.

In fairness though, Sir Alex saw enough in him to bring him to England, and when you look at William Prunier, Djemba Djemba, Ralph Milne and Dong Fangzhuo, who are we to argue.

 

 

Naturally there will be other names banded around between now and January, but for the price we pay and the expectations we all have, these might just be the best we can hope for.

Any thoughts?

* We’ll be doing similar blogs about midfield and defensive targets, so probably best to keep the chit-chat about strikers. Just warning people, as it could get repetitive over the course of three articles if everyone starts posting their shopping lists.

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