Wolves 0 Liverpool 3

As time waited for no man in the countdown to the transfer deadline, all clocks stopped at Molineux.

Like a bored, bemused child in the backseat of the family estate, a fan cried out for help: “Is it nearly full time yet?”

Another asked if there was still time left in the window to sign Mark Fotheringham, while the rest pursued a conversation away from the scene – a sea of faded orange seats telling its own story.

And amid it all, that gargantuan North Bank monstrosity yawned over the remaining few, in Steve Morgan’s tribute to Dr Frankenstein.

At least the spin might just subside for a day or two after this latest Molineux horror show.

Who would have possibly predicted a goal for this lump?

No more spiel about Frimpong the saviour, with Mick McCarthy putting pay to our one final flickering hope of the season by playing him deeper than a sweeper and nullifying youthful exuberance.

The 18 year-old’s verve and attacking vigour dispensed with, as our boss ordered him to stay away from Liverpool’s half at all costs. ‘Defensive midfield signing’ Eggert Jonsson was instead employed further up the pitch, but lacked an ounce of attacking ability to make a difference anyway.

Michael Kightly, our other last lingering hope, was nowhere near his Villa vintage, and so Mick McCarthy’s best laid plan was out the window.

In the absence of 2008 Championship winning influence, we hoofed the ball long, and gave the ball away.

With tactics like that, it made no difference that we’d had 12 days off and Liverpool barely any, as we were more jaded, lethargic and listless having chased the ball in a style that’s known as ‘commitment.’

Aside from a great early Edwards opening that he really should have done better with, Pepe Reina may as well pictured Sky Sports News on one of our seamless video walls. Not that they work either.

The entire course of the game would be decided on whether Liverpool were good enough in the final third.

In the first half they weren’t. In the second half, they were.

Gal shy Andy Carroll scored the most inevitable goal ever, thanks to a great assist from our ball boy who threw Craig Bellamy the ball like a love sick puppy.

With everyone still up the other end of the pitch seconds after our corner, the ball boy should now be loaned out to Nottingham Forest forthwith as punishment, for not leaving it where it was.

Hennessey, having repelled every other effort on goal before all this, then morphed into Wolfie the Wolf, doing what our furry friend did for 10 minutes at half time when faced with a clutch of six year-olds…Dive over the ball in slow motion.

Not that Wayne could be blamed. He was the only player on the pitch who could hold his head up, having made numerous saves.

Roger Johnson then got a bit angry with those hardcore, vigilante thugs in the Billy Wright family enclosure, pointing and glaring at all those ‘mindless idiots’ who were clearly to blame for the entire fiasco.

Kuyt then scored a third to give the scoreline the reflection it deserved, before Sylvan smashed the post from 30 yards to prompt the first genuine cheer of the night.

And that was that.

Transfer deadline derangement

As the cold winds chasten a lifeless Molineux, the smoking transfer deadline day should be every Wolves fan’s rescue remedy.

But in keeping with every other facet of this miserable season, our club is at its comatose worst, flipping over the ‘closed’ sign, switching off the lights and imploring those clocks to strike 12.

Wolves' transfer strategy in two words: Mark Fotheringham

Such a strategy underpins a stadium ‘redevelopment’ and an inexorable plummet to the Premier League basement, so is anyone remotely surprised that we’re not even shopping in it?

Some might call it spin, but after delving a little deeper, the spin appears to have eat itself entirely when dissecting our pitiful transfer policy, which ranks as one of the most insular in living memory.

According to Mick McCarthy himself, players will not be approached or even considered if:

1. They are on more money than current squad members. Source: E & S; 27.01.12: ‘McCarthy believes Wolves are unlikely to have a situation where a new signing is on far more money than the rest of the dressing room.’

2. They are foreign. Source: Mick McCarthy direct quote; 25.01.12: “If you take anyone from abroad, you really are taking a chance on them because they don’t settle in straightaway.”

3. They are early to mid 30 year-olds. Source: E & S; 26.01.12: ‘But at 34, his (Kevin Davies) age and his £35,000-a-week wages count heavily against him fitting into Wolves’ long-established ‘young and hungry’ policy.’

4. Mick can’t get rid of current deadwood in his squad. Source: E & S; 27.01.12: ‘McCarthy can’t guarantee him (Mame Diouf) regular football with three senior strikers and Sam Vokes on the books.’

With all of these quite preposterous reasons for not entertaining the notion of purchasing any player with a modicum of Premier League skill, I trawled the official Fantasy Football League to dream an impossible dream.

It was there that I saw the endless list of player names, in much the same way I see a Thomas Cook holiday brochure or the latest issue of Autosport.

Around 95 per cent of players literally unattainable for those four points above, which are absurdly inapplicable to Pardew, Rogers, Lambert, Hodgson, Pulis, Hughes, Coyle, O’Neill, Jol and co and solely plausible to Mick McCarthy.

Hypothetically, had our scouts actually identified Vorm, Krul, Assou-Ekotto, Kompany, Skrtel, Vermaelen, Cabaye, Tiote, Silva, Djeko, Nani, Sessegnon, Odemwingie (etc, etc, etc, etc) at their native clubs before moving to England, we would consider NONE of them for the idiocy already outlined.

The only players we could be linked with, taking those four points into consideration, might be Steve Morison, Danny Graham and one or two others.

But they would never consider leaving Millwall and Watford for us these days, when the far more progressive cities of Norwich and Swansea lie in wait.

To hamstring our survival chances yet further – in another self imposed brainwave – no youth players from our own academy will be considered either (see Elliot Bennett and Mark Davies, not to mention Danny Batth, Scott Malone and David Davis.)

With strategic thinking like this, is it any wonder the Sky Sports presenters are boycotting the WV1 region on transfer deadline day?

And is it any wonder we are taking SPL and Cypriot league journeyman Mark Fotheringham on trial and an alleged interest in some Fleetwood Town striker that nobody else has heard of?

With the senseless, skewed spin that is reserved solely for our club, I’d literally expect nothing less.

Wolves 2 Villa 3

In the end, it was a picture that only the three M’s could have imagined, let alone painted.

Beneath the glare of the biggest of white elephants the team in white won, inspired by a home grown hero whose local rivals now call their own.

One team playing in the Premier League while the other plays in a parallel world altogether, losing for the umpteenth time on the pitch as the most feckless building project of all is shelved in favour of 50 odd houses off it.

Only Wolves could cobble together such a script, featuring a fabricated line about Compton progression, when our very own manager steadfastly objects to the very notion in the first place.

Not Mark Davies for example, who was leap-frogging Bolton above us with a man-of-the-match display at the Reebok, instead of maintaining our momentum once Frimpong departed.

If it wasn’t so chronically sad we’d all laugh.

Darren Bent tells us how many stands will be built at Molineux

But when a current board member boasts about signing off the North Bank redevelopment three days before the last day of last season, we really shouldn’t be surprised.

A monstrosity of a stand which Jez Moxey said would look ‘ridiculous’ to begin with and a team which Steve Morgan, ‘with a crystal ball, might have strengthened.’

Talk about planning.

The biggest irony of all was that for a 30 minute spell, we looked as good as we have all season, on the day we plunged to 19th position.

Michael Kightly proved why the club has stayed patient over his injury lay-off for so long, terrorising Villa and scoring a wonderful goal to partly erase the memory of Berra’s early indecision for the penalty.

The wonderfully mobile Frimpong exuded confidence and talent, controlling the midfield with Henry with right back Kevin Foley reminding us why he won a player of the year award as a right back. Funny that.

We thoroughly deserved a 2-1 lead at the break through Edwards’ flick from Johnson’s header and if anything, will regret profligacy for not being at least 4-1 ahead instead.

Both Fletcher and Edwards shot tamely at Given beforehand, when a yard either side would have yielded more joy.

But in a game of two halves, Wolves failed to reappear after the break and either looked slow out of the blocks, or just bereft of experience in actually defending a lead.

Keane’s equaliser underlined two things:

  1. Our chronic inability to keep the ball, this time underlined by Matt Jarvis
  2. Wayne Hennessey’s not-so-happy knack at conceding long range goals, later admitting he was to blame for this one

From then on the wheels came off and a game that we previously looked in control of took a turn for the worse when Frimpong was stretchered off.

With Stephen Warnock already brought on for Agbonlahor to specifically shackle Kightly, we suddenly looked laboured.

And when referee Michaal Oliver gleefully sent off Henry after first impeding a quick free kick and then ignoring a 5 second Albrighton offence, you sensed the game was heading one way.

That our very own Robbie Keane confirmed such a thought was either cruel beyond compare, or just rewards for a club with warped priorities.

With Blues beating us in the cup, our stadium redevelopment shelved and a housing development taking preference, Mick McCarthy could have been talking about the last seven days as a Wolves fan instead of these painful 90 minutes.

“Everything that could go wrong did go wrong.”

Nearly men

“Would you trust Mick McCarthy with any money to spend this window?” questioned one hard suffering soul on a radio phone-in last week.

“After all,” the Wolves fan went on to argue, “Mick has spent £49 million since we got promoted and look at the Championship plodders he persists on picking.”

More to invest?

The husky, hoarse supporter made a pretty valid point, even if he was screaming down the phone while making it.

Or did he? The £64,000 dollar question this window appears to centre around Mick’s £49 million spending spree in the three years before it opened.

While there are many sticks to beat Mick McCarthy with right now, his record in the transfer market might not be the most obvious one.

Admittedly some signings have been barely explainable, let alone fathomable, but is this all down to Mick, or more down to the fact that we rarely pay the wages of our manager’s number one targets, meaning he settles for a Surman instead of a Sidwell. Or a Griffiths over a Gardner.

Here is a team of players Mick is known to have wanted, but lost out on due to either a) paltry personal terms or b) player didn’t want to come.

Danny Higginbotham (left back)

In Mick’s second full season in 2007, he tried to sign Higginbotham as a 29 year-old with a £1.25 million fee agreed. He opted for Stoke City instead. His performances for Stoke up until this season would suggest he would have ‘done a job.’

 

 

 

Steven Taylor (centre back)

While on a work jaunt to the Soccer AM studios a few months ago, a friend told me we were on the brink of signing him a year or two before. So close was Taylor to signing that he almost put pen to paper. Understandably, he stayed put in the end, being a lifelong Toon fan.

 

 

Scott Dann (centre back)

In 2009 we could smell the liniment on his legs as he underwent a medical at Compton. He’d be coming up the M6 when he’d come (yee-hah), he’d be driving down the M6 when he left for St Andrew’s shortly afterwards.

 

 

 

 Nathanial Clyne (right back)

Virtually two years ago to the day, Crystal Palace’s administrators accepted a bid for Clyne, around the £1 million mark. Either he didn’t like our terms, or he didn’t like our team, being as he couldn’t believe his useless mate Danny Butterfield bagged three past us weeks earlier.

 

 

Adam Johnson (left midfield)

We bid around £6.5 million for him when at Middlesbrough, but he stupidly chose Man City instead, in a blatant career backward step! Not before saying he was flattered by our interest, which was nice of him.

Moxey said: We got permission from Middlesbrough to speak to Johnson and we made the best offer, which would have broken our transfer record, paying a lot more than Manchester City.”

 

Steve Sidwell (centre midfield)

Apparently, Greg Halford put the kibosh on this one by blurting out we were signing the ginger hot head from Villa. No sooner had Halford tweeted than Fulham gazumped us, to the delight of Mick McCarthy who (should have) said: “I thought Halford was safer in the stands than out on the pitch, but he is still doing damage in row B of the Billy Wright Stand, the twat.”

 

 

Craig Gardner (centre midfield)

When Blues were relegated last season, Jez Moxey was rubbing his hands at the assets he could strip off them, in the bargain basement he knows best. He still hadn’t fathomed that good players need paying though, as Gardner opted for Sunderland for more money despite wanting to come here. Mick also tried to get him on loan this season, to no avail.

 

 

Wes Hoolahan (attacking midfield / right?)

We all know Mick loves an Irishman, and none more so than Wes Hoolahan in 2008 when he played for Blackpool. He joined Norwich for around £700,000 instead of us, as we wouldn’t pay up, allegedly. Judging by his impressive showing at Molineux the other week, Mick can rightly feel narked about missing out, as he’d clearly spotted a good ‘un there.

 

 

Andy Carroll (striker)

Yes, yes, laugh as you might, but Mick wanted him when he was on loan at Preston in 2007, when he was barely worth £3 quid, let alone £30 million! More proof that he can spot them.

McCarthy said: “I saw him at Preston when he was out on loan and we asked about him.

“We asked about him last year. We didn’t get close at all. We made a bid but it didn’t get anywhere.”

 

Shane Long (striker)

According to Tim Nash, Mick was keen on the striker before his summer move to Albion, but the club would only sanction it if Kevin Doyle was sold. As it was, Doyler signed a new deal and we all had to endure the bloodbath at the Hawthorns as good old Shane ran rings around Rodger.

 

 

The Bench

 

David Vaughan

Wolves were one of many clubs chasing the former Blackpool midfielder when his contract expired in the summer, but he skanked us for Sunderland. It appeared we’d dodged a bullet based on the Welshman’s early season form, but he’s been firing a few of his own rockets since O’Neill took over at the Stadium of Light.

 

 

Robbie Keane

It’s a shame that so many stifle a yawn when Robbie’s name is mentioned, such is the frequency of it at this time of year.

In what couldn’t possibly be seen as a cynical ploy to convince us that we were serious about our first season in the Premier League, Jez Moxey said we genuinely attempted to get him while at Spurs.

Apparently we were prepared to pay his £70,000 wages too!

Moxey said: “We asked about Robbie Keane and I spoke to Tottenham on a couple of occasions. We knew what his wages were and we would have done that but he wasn’t going to come to us.”

Nicky Maynard

We’ve been linked with Maynard for what seems an eternity but nothing has ever come of it. With the striker out of contract in the summer and Bristol City looking to cash-in before he leaves for nothing, there’s a deal to be done. The question is, will the club back Mick with the funds to finally bring him in or will he become a permanent member of the nearly men?

So while Mick has indeed spent £49 million on players of varying degrees of quality, should the question really be about Mick’s judgement in the transfer market?

Or should it be about whether the club should back him with a requisite wage structure instead?

Wolves 1 Chelsea 2

What have a group of FA endorsed Premier League referees and Mick McCarthy got in common?
 
They both make unfathomable decisions that no hard suffering Wolves fan can do a single thing about.
 
For the sake of sycophantic, fawning Football Association apologists on here, I’ll keep any observations of the latest conman in black down to one word, for fear of being called a cretin once more and ‘killing this blog.’
 
Cheat.
 
And being as Mick McCarthy has come out and condoned Philip Walton’s decision to allow England’s Frank Lampard to stay on the pitch to score the winner, it serves more purpose to look at our manager’s second brainwave in three days instead.
 
When the margin between relegation or survival is as narrow as 180 solitary seconds, McCarthy should now be explaining how he has wasted 90 minutes over the course of two games by playing the wrong players in the wrong team.
 
Not that he will, just like the FA will never explain the most abhorrent decision in recent history by refusing to rescind Milijas’ red card at the Emirates.
 
Nope, all us Wolves fans can do is wrestle with a turnstile, climb up 72 steps and stand aghast upon arrival at the SportingBet plasma screen, as its scrolling team announcement bar reveals - in tortuous Teleprinter speed - that Forde has come into midfield while Jarvis and Fletcher are rested.
 

Lampard scores, Walton celebrates (out of picture)

This, on the back of playing Ward in midfield at the Reebok in an opening 45 minute selection that only Mick McCarthy would ever have conjured.

 
Anyone would think that we have got a mega important FA Cup game coming up on Saturday that really requires the services of our one and only goal threat and the only bloke with any pace.
 
So what happens next, once all the jaws around me had been picked up off the floor? The aghast fans are proved right and Mick McCarthy wrong as he hauls off Forde at half time in a game that was way too much for him.
 
The positives in this game was Johnson and Berra’s ever strengthening partnership at the back, with Henry in front of them looking the best player in a Wolves shirt, if not the entire pitch (Ramires aside?)
 
The formation also gave us a better chance to actually compete and nearly bring home a point, not that most Wolves fans haven’t said this was the way forward for months. Frimpong could be a very handy addition alongside Henry in a formation certainly more suited to our vastly improved centre halves.
 
Hammill looked eager to please, but judging by McCarthy’s reaction to his frequent surrendering of possession, we’ll probably not see him start for another two months anyway, such is the yardstick that is used on certain players.
 
Thereby lies the one huge negative…
 
…Our inability to keep the ball and our complete disregard of possession.
 
As soon as we levelled in the most unlikely of circumstances (having not looked like scoring all second half) the time had never been more pressing to keep the football and see out the game, if not press for a winner like Fulham did against Arsenal.
 
Whether our faultless work ethic resulted in some weary minds can not be verified for certain, but it was Hammill who stupidly gave the ball away to Chelsea on the halfway line, before the Londoners cut us apart down the right where Cole squared for Lampard to score. This, after John Terry appeared to clatter the woefully off-form Doyle moments before, from behind.
 
Mick was said to be more livid with the subsequent defending than he was the referee’s decision to allow Lampard to stay on the field.
 
So what have Wolves fans got to be livid about then Mick, if we shouldn’t blame the ref and can do nothing about you selecting a centre back at right back while our 2008/09 player of the year right back came on in centre midfield?
 
It was the same Richard Stearman who presented Chelsea with the ball under no pressure or danger, seconds before they scored the opener, for what it’s worth.
 
This game was a true day in the life of a Wolves fan.
 
View yet another violation of equality with an air of numb withdrawal, read another Mick McCarthy teamsheet with a spirtless shrug of the shoulders, and shuffle off home to summon up one breath of hope that even the most peverted referee can’t wrestle from us.
 
…A cheer for a Blackburn, Bolton or Wigan defeat.