Becoming a millionaire, travelling the world and being mortgage free…
…They are just three of 50 things we all dream about but rarely ever achieve, according to the Daily Express.
If they’d have conducted the poll in the WV1 postcode, the wish-list might have featured less materialism and more modesty.
A vision of a few weathered souls springs to mind, who plead for their football club to be resuscitated from its interminable state of unconsciousness.
Foley losing possession; Doyle treading on the ball; Berra getting caught; Ward giving possession away; Ebanks-Blake isolated.
The same old losers, making the same old errors, failing to register a meaningful shot on goal all game.
If there’s even a molecule of energy left in a poor supporter’s soul to scratch his/her head, Jez Moxey will soon take aim with his tranquiliser gun of soundbites to force them back to sleep.
In every way, this soporific, pathetic football team is the very epitome of a club that makes absurdity an art form.
On the pitch we have a right back playing right midfield.
Off the pitch we have no money to strengthen despite an embarrassment of riches (and a fabled treasure chest).
On the pitch we have two immobile, wretched strikers incapable of fashioning a single chance.
Off the pitch Dean Saunders says they’re the best in the league.
On the pitch we have no discernible quality anywhere across it.
Off the pitch we need to offload a drove of donkeys – who nobody wants – to ‘bring a couple in.’
And if all that wasn’t enough, one manager is sacked after six months in place of another who needs two years.
If nothing in black and white makes sense, then what rationality for black and gold, against a team who are supposedly poor?
If Steve Morgan’s boundless levels of idiocy are anything to go by, then don’t expect it to change either. If you’re not already unconscious, then don’t even dream.
Picture becoming a millionaire, travelling the world and being mortgage free instead.