He ‘aint as green as he is cabbage looking, nor will he be shoving a coathanger down his gob.
Two of my favourite Mick-isms that are as relevant today as they ever were when he uttered them back in the Championship.
Then, when a foolish reporter asked him what he thought of Neill Collins’ ‘defending’ for Reading’s winning goal at the Madjeski Stadium, the Yorkshireman cranked it up a notch.
“What did I think of it? What did I think of it? I thought it was the best piece of f**king defending I have ever seen in my life. What do you think I thought of it? Bullshit. Rubbish. F**king rubbish.”
Well, words to that effect, cue immediate dropping of Neill Collins – if not the penny – and the adoption of a policy made famous by John Major all those years ago. Back to basics alright. Back to Jody Craddock.
Close your eyes and listen to Mick’s famous meltdown again and it could have been reserved exclusively for Michael Mancienne on Sunday afternoon.
As if dawdling on the ball for the first goal was bad enough, the kid who got hideously out-muscled by Patrick Agyemang and Marcus Bent back in the Championship was getting bullied for the third, failing hopelessly to deal with a big boot as Roberts preyed.
Mancienne – Mick’s ‘manna from heaven’ – was part of a back line that shipped 52 goals in our title winning season.
It wasn’t good enough then and unless the youngster suddenly sprouts 3 inches, Berra finds 3 yards and George discovers SatNav, it isn’t good enough now.
Five clean sheets all season writes its own story, while 52 goals in our title winning season occupies an entire chapter all to itself.
As tick followed tortuous tock at 5.40pm on Sunday, that big North Bank banner caught my eye, the one that coined another one of Mick’s phrases.
‘It’s where we are on May 22,’ it read.
I could be found in the fetal position beneath row Q, quivering into a coffee cup.
Mick ‘wipes his gob’ while all others are wiping their arses.
If he can just wipe the slate clean while he’s at it, then ‘Merlin the Magician’ might have been his best soundbite of the lot.